Flipping through my agenda. 1…2…3….4……….5. Wait, HOLD UP. Yes, I am counting the weeks until I am gone. First I was excited. Reunited with my lovaboy… thrilled. But, packing + goodbyes + figuring out the rest of my life makes me feel like I am on the verge of cardiac arrest. I’ve been checking on my USU application status, counting my hours down to the last day at work, updating my resume, looking for jobs, budgeting, and trying to find 1 bedroom apartments for us to rent (until early Spring). Oh, and studying.
I wont even try and sugarcoat it… I love control. And I don’t have any right now. Therefore I’m feeling a littttle bit uncomfortable. I have been trying my best to remind myself that things will come with time and that as long as I work hard & stay positive it will all work out. But as of late, the weeks have come & gone with a blink, and 5 weeks just doesn’t feel like enough. Will we be able to grasp stability? Will we start our lives off on the right foot, or find ourselves in a struggle to get our feet on the ground? Will I continue working with the company I am truly passionate about, or end up in a new office, answering phones & dreading ‘the next day at work’. Will someone just be real with me… Would you be trippin’ if you didn’t know where you were going to work, live, and essentially be, 5 weeks from now? I have the perfect job. I live in a beautiful, happy, healthy home. I’m in school. I couldn’t be on better terms then I am now with everyone in my life. I’m in love. But I’m scared shitless. Can the best get better?….
Trying to trust that….
LOVE that quote at the end. But I am going to be honest here and say that I would be terrified if I was in your shoes, but I would also be thinking happy thoughts to try and control that fear. If you are hardworking which I think you are then you should be fine. I am totally a control freak and lately I’ve just been trying really hard to let some things go but it is difficult so I understand where you’re coming from.
Goodluck to you, I’m positive you’ll be great :)
Thank you so much lady. I am slowly but surely finding some peace within the process of letting things go, it hasn’t been easy but I’m learning a lot about myself! You’re so kind, and it brings me comfort to know that there are others who would react the same way. xoxo
I would be a mess if I were in your shoes. I’m freaked out about what’s going to happen after Graduation and that’s not until May. I’m assuming it will be grad school, but who knows? You’ve got this! You’ll figure it all out. Just take baby steps. I’m a control freak too so I know how hard it can be to give it up.
It is definitely an emotional roller coaster, one day I feel calm and confident about everything and the next I’m questioning everything. You are very right, baby steps are a huge part of adjusting to such a large amount of change. I think taking things one day at a time really helps with controlling emotion and making sure you don’t get overwhelmed with things to do. Thank you so much for your sweet energy and positive thoughts, I really appreciate it. Cheers darling xoxo