Flipping through my agenda. 1…2…3….4……….5. Wait, HOLD UP. Yes, I am counting the weeks until I am gone. First I was excited. Reunited with my lovaboy… thrilled. But, packing + goodbyes + figuring out the rest of my life makes me feel like I am on the verge of cardiac arrest. I’ve been checking on my USU application status, counting my hours down to the last day at work, updating my resume, looking for jobs, budgeting, and trying to find 1 bedroom apartments for us to rent (until early Spring). Oh, and studying.
I wont even try and sugarcoat it… I love control. And I don’t have any right now. Therefore I’m feeling a littttle bit uncomfortable. I have been trying my best to remind myself that things will come with time and that as long as I work hard & stay positive it will all work out. But as of late, the weeks have come & gone with a blink, and 5 weeks just doesn’t feel like enough. Will we be able to grasp stability? Will we start our lives off on the right foot, or find ourselves in a struggle to get our feet on the ground? Will I continue working with the company I am truly passionate about, or end up in a new office, answering phones & dreading ‘the next day at work’. Will someone just be real with me… Would you be trippin’ if you didn’t know where you were going to work, live, and essentially be, 5 weeks from now? I have the perfect job. I live in a beautiful, happy, healthy home. I’m in school. I couldn’t be on better terms then I am now with everyone in my life. I’m in love. But I’m scared shitless. Can the best get better?….
Trying to trust that….