Andy woke me up at 2:30 in the morning to tell me that our fish, Blackie Chan, has been eating the rocks in his bowl & then spitting them out. I asked him if that was some kind of joke when we got up today, and he said no. He accused me of starving Blackie – But I feed him 3 times a day. So what the hell dude? What kind of fish does that? Anyway, that was the way I started my day today.
Lately whenever water gets spilled on the floor & I step in it (which grosses me out really bad for some reason) I automatically assume someone pee’d on the floor. Why? Why do I do this? It’s not like there is a dog or a kid here? I am an odd duck.
I am going to be working on my paper tonight. It’s due on Tuesday so it’s not that my time limit is stressful, it’s the fact that I don’t have a god damn clue what I am doing. When I signed up for this class I was ready for a challenge. That is what life is about, stepping out of your comfort zone & exploring things that scare you.
Even though I know I can do this, part of me is beginning to see what I am good at and what I am not good at. Creative writing/pulling shit out of my ass is my specialty (pardon my french) – Journalism, mmm, not so much. Avoiding the things I struggle with will not get me anywhere in life. Deep down, I am simply scared to death of failing. With lots of hard work I hope to avoid that and prove myself wrong. I rubbed my buddhas belly twice today… I hope it helps.
Until this paper is done you (hopefully) will not hear from me. XOXO
Commander In Chic 
If you want to grow you need to do as many things a day that scare you… Then you won’t be scared anymore!
I agree, Alan. I am learning more and more everyday. I hope to get there, eventually. Thank you:)
http://www.findalan.com is where you can find me :)
Oddly enough I was having a conversation with a friend to tonight who’s fish does this constantly. Aparently he’s been doing it for almost 4years now maybe just to entertain himself? Who knows, but one might he started chokeing on one of the pebbles and she couldnt figure out what was wrong with him but luckily he spat it out. Fish are strange creatures.
They are definitely strange creatures! He is doing it as we speak. So odd