Confessions Of A Part Time Single Woman

It’s official, I’m homesick.

I thought that between school, work, and writing on my blog I wouldn’t get lonely… But I was wrong. Those things are not helping me avoid feeling lonely, they are overwhelming me and stressin’ a bitch out ok!

I was so excited to have our own place but Andy works all the time & it is so hard on me. We work opposite schedules & he comes home when I should be sleeping. Staying up late to spend 2 hours with him & having to wake up 4 hours later for work is a vicious cycle.

I love cooking big yummy dinners, watching football, and having a clean house – but not by myself all the time. What is the point of having everything you want when you don’t have anybody to really share it with? My family & friends are all in Salt Lake. They have been so supportive & have all spent hours on the phone with me, but it’s not the same. I miss my girls, my momma, my grandma, and my aunties. I wish I could have a day of hairapy with Kerry, a play date with Kelsey & Lincoln, and a wine & movie night with Lex. My license is being suspended for a 5 over ticket/too many points. That starts in 3 days & will be suspended for a month. Dear police officer, I don’t go anywhere but school & the grocery store please just leave me alone.

Today is Superbowl Sunday & I have spent it with family & friends since I was wee. But today is different. I slept in, woke up alone, and I am definitely still in my pajamas because I’ve been watching ‘Jerseylicious’ – What is my life coming to?! I feel ridiculous. I have wanted to see the movie ‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ so I looked up movie times to go see it today. Whoops, Logan doesn’t have it in theaters yet. Christ almighty I’m out of beer, good food, wine, garbage bags, and I am LONELY. This is not my cup of tea, and I have no idea what to do with myself. Feeling sorry for myself isn’t helping, I realize this, but jesus… I’m losing my sanity.

Oh and this dumb ass fish does nothing but shit in his tank and spazz out whenever I walk past his bowl. I AM NOT ENTERTAINED.

Pinterest, facebook, blogging, IG, tumblr, shoving candy in my mouth as fast as possible, playing dress up by myself like I’m 5, homework, and cleaning my house/fish bowl = Things that make me want to stick burning needles in my eyeballs because that’s all I do anymore.

So does anyone have any tips as to what I am supposed to do on days like this? I should be writing my interview questions because it is due tomorrow but I think I’ll just procrastinate like a normal college student.

Help a sista out here. Ps. I do not want to ‘go for a run’ – It smells like cow shit outside & I am bloated like a whale. I know, I just bitched for an entire blog post. No inspiration, no smiles, no jumping on the bed, nada. I am not handling this well. If you read this, well, bless your heart. Serious.

Love, the girl who has always said only boring people get bored.

Advertisements

26 thoughts on “Confessions Of A Part Time Single Woman

  1. life is an ebb and flow of everything- happiness, productivity, luck, love, etc. its so hard being away from family and friends. i think the best thing to do in these situations is to acknowledge the fact that you’re in an ‘ebb’ moment in life. that’s what i do when i feel like you. and then i try to do something that brings me joy and be totally shameless about it, like watching sex and the city again or dressing up and dancing to britney. :)

    • When you said doing something shameless like watching S&TC/dressing up/dancing to britney I immediately realized I DON’T have any of the S&TC seasons – Holy devastation! I told my boyfriend I wanted all the seasons, lets cross our fingers for vday.

      Thank you for the advice sweetheart, I did start to work on accepting this ‘ebb’ and it helped a lot. xoxo

  2. Is there a cafe or anything walking distance near you that you can go to and relax with a cup of coffee while being around people?

    I’m sorry you feel isolated.

    • I haven’t even considered that – I am going to look into it asap. I know Normandie cafe is pretty close, I am going to check it out and see if I can get away and relax there. Thank you Dienna, I really appreciate your help. xoxo

  3. Don’t beat yourself up. You’re getting the frustration out so you can be inspirational again. You know, when I don’t feel like doing the things I’m supposed to do, I usually do the things I’ve been wanting to do. Write a post, a story, a song, or rearrange or remodel something. Go for a walk. It’s a great feeling, what you’re feeling now, because eventually you will long for the time when you had all the time in the world to do what you wanted.

    Trust me.

    • The whole ‘doing what you want to do’ made a big difference. I had a big article due tonight for school and I SHOULD have been writing that all day yesterday, but I just did not have it in me.

      I went to lunch with Andy & spent time with his family. I don’t get out of the house often so it really helped me, and it was something I’ve been needing to do. Thank you Edward <3

  4. Whenever I get really bored I always either a. stretch (make ups some fake yoga position and do it until i’m flexy like a fish); b.start a new project (always involves pictures and quotes… magazine cut outs?); or c. cook. You said you’re out of beer and wine… but I bet you still have some fresh greens and chicken broth. Make some queso.. eat them on chips (or wheat thins if that’s all you have) and make soup. Soup makes you warm:)

    Get off the computer!!!! You’re a wonderful blogger and I’m obsessed with you online, really it’s kind of creepy, but i feel like the computer is making you even more depressed. Give your eyes a break and sing/jazzersize/make a weird conconction/CLEAN.

    It might be a little late in the day. But you’re an amazingly creative and inspirational person. Think about how ‘locking’ yourself up in your logan household is affecting you… REEEEALLY think about. I feel like a person with as much passion and bubble as you shouldn’t be in this position ever because you’re so good at making opportunities for yourself.

    Change isn’t a bad thing…… but sometimes it isn’t the right kind of change.

    Love you,
    Leah

    • Leah, your comment made me cry! Happy tears of course. I can’t express how nice it feels to have someone who gets it. You also made me smile so big, I love the yoga pose idea (I used to practice yoga religiously).

      And getting off the computer was one of the best things I could have done. I work on it for 8 hours a day for my job and then when my blog/fbook etc comes into play I feel like I am attached to the damn thing.

      Thank you so much Leah, you are amazing and your comment/advice means the world to me. Love you back, xoxo.

  5. Perhaps you can start workin’ on your DIY table project! Or, pick up a new hobby? Volunteer somewhere? Sounds like you’re already a pretty busy lady though (and definitely not boring). My old roommates used to be in a similar situation, and it was rough for them too. However, the one good thing about it is “absence makes the heart grow fonder!” Although you’re probably saying, “F$%& the absence!” I would too. I wish I had better advice to give :(

    • Absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder – When Andy finally came home last night I was so excited to see him, it felt like falling in love all over again.

      Your advice is so helpful and amazing, and it helped a lot. I went to Petsmart and asked for the contact info for the people who are in charge of the adoptions for cats. I called them and am waiting on a response. Hopefully I can volunteer with the cats. Thank you again, Em

  6. Awww. I’m sorry to hear about that, Bailey.
    Fortunately, I’ve spent a lot of my time along and confined in my own apartment, so here are a number of activities I enjoy when I have my privacy.

    – Take a loooooooong shower or bubble bath and walk around the apartment in your birthday suit.
    – Give your feet a nice long soak in warm tea.
    – Watch ‘My Sister’s Keeper’, Its always a good cry.
    – Make a homemade card for your boyfriend, telling him how much you love and miss him. Express how you’re feeling and suggest a few activities for the both of you to enjoy, and leave the card in his bag or some place where it will surprise him.
    -Get crafty. Redecorate your bathroom, kitchen, anything.

    Hope these help. Anything that will keep your mind occupied would help you feel better. Maybe give your boyfriend a call too.

    • I love every single one of those things. I am an only child so I used to lock myself in my bedroom and redecorate it. I wouldn’t let my mum come see it until it was absolutely perfect. I need to do that again, it made me soo happy. And baths are like church for me I swear I wouldn’t be sane without them. Thank you SO much <3 it helps coming from someone who has experience in what I am going through.

      • You’re welcome!
        I sulk a lot about not going out a lot, but when I look back on all the moments I pamper myself like no one can, I think “Gosh, soon I’ll be married and I’ll hardly ever have the time for that”! HAAA!

        Like Monty Python says.. “Always look on the bright side of life”!
        I’ll do an e-whistle if you do it with me, sista! :D

  7. There is nothing wrong with having a bad day. We’re all human and have our good days and not so good days. I’ve read some of the things on your blog and can tell that you’re a very inspirational and resilient person, so I’m positive you will bounce back and be your usually cheerful self in no time. Stay encouraged becuase alot of people up here are rooting for you:-)

    And thanks again for liking my blog. It means alot coming from someone with as many followers as you.

    • Jeuron, you were right, I am already feeling much better today. Your comment and others have played a big role in my more positive mood, so thank you. You have a truly kind soul.

      Ps. I am a firm believer in quality over quantity – So THANK YOU! I write my blog because of the joy I get from readers like you.

  8. Whenever I’m having a shitty day, I just go to a coffee shop. I dunno… there’s just something about them that I like, and it kinda cheers me up a little bit. I’m sorry you’re homesick and all. But yeah, you’re an inspirational person, SO DON’T YOU DARE SAY YOU’RE NOT. Things will get better, I assure you. Cheers.

    • I am such a coffee shop lover as well – I have honestly been coffee free since I moved here (i know… awful!) I haven’t found a coffee shop close to my house yet. I know there is one on campus but it is sooo noisy. Hopefully I will stumble upon a quiet little coffee shop soon.

      Thank you so much, Jan.

  9. When we were first married, my wife and I had to work different shifts. We too became board because we were alone. We talked about it and found a workable solution. We made some new friends. Friends can change bad days into great days. We could share our friend with each other. We were able to open another door to life. I hope you find a solution that works for you. Take care.

    • There was a time I was working a good 5 jobs, and life was a blurr. I didn’t talk to my friends, I barely saw my significant other at the time or my pets or my bed. She stayed up to see me, I was groggy and incoherent and terrible conversation. I think a situation like this forces you and your close ones to really find creative ways to see each other or make each other’s presences felt.

      I think before you can do anything you have to let the emotion pass. To do anything from this emotional state wouldn’t be productive. Sometimes I sit and watch the emotion unfold like I used to watch clouds form and unform until they passed from my living room window. Doing that reduces the potency of the feeling but also helps clear your head and provide you sometimes with great insights. It seems at first a very zen thing or stoic but it will relax you and help. – just my two cents

    • Hi John,
      I agree with you, friends can shape your day and make it so much better. I really need to work on not being such a home body and get out there and meet new people. Thanks so much

  10. This makes me sad :( I’m sorry you aren’t loving it up here. Maybe a lunch will make you feel a little bit better. What is your schedule like this week? Let me know! If a lunch won’t work, you can always borrow some sort of TV season from me hahaha that always makes me feel better. Love you!

    • Sam, I don’t know why I didn’t just call you. When I get upset I tend to forget about everything around me. I am such a tv season addict! Lets do lunch, I will text you tomorrow and we will work it out. Love you tons. xoxo

  11. Pingback: The Beauty Takes The Gold « Commander In Chic

  12. I can SO relate to this. I know the feeling all too well. I think this time in our lives is a funny one and it’s okay to feel this way. Keep your chin up. I love to do something that feels like a treat when I get into this funk. Paint my nails, watch any and all girly movies/tv shows, buy myself something sparkly, do ANYTHING creative, get a message or have a phone date with a girlfriend. Most of all don’t beat yourself up about these feelings.

    Sarah
    xoxo

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s