Living Beyond the Blueprint

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that worrying about “what if’s” can destroy a person. For me I have a hard time focusing on the now. Instead I tend to think about what “could have been”, or in my mind how things “should” be.

Here is a perfect example: A few years ago I thought that by 21 I’d be in a completely different place. After graduating early from high school even when they all told me I could not, I felt a surge of motivation like never before. I had recently bought the car I’d been wanting for years and decided I wanted to pay it off early (by the time I turned 21). I also wanted to be done with my degree and know what I want in a career. But my biggest goal was having my own four walls. The rules weren’t strict, I just knew that I wanted a place to call my own that I could share with the people I love. I also thought I’d be in a happy, healthy relationship with someone that would let me simply be me and not have to apologize for one bit of it.

Well I worked hard and loved harder, and I found myself with a couple of the things I’d been dreaming of since high school. I shared a beautiful home with someone that I thought was the one. I adopted the black kitten I’ve always wanted and danced around my house in my socks and underwear whenever I pleased. I cooked often & blogged on the side. I worked from home and stayed busy. The problem was I was compromising my happiness for these things simply because it was all, at one point, exactly what I thought I wanted. And on top of it all I was being unrealistic. I had stopped celebrating my youth to live the adult life I had dreamed of. But soon after getting those things, it all fell apart. I realized the mistake I had made: I was chasing my goals written down on paper from age 18 instead of my current hopes and dreams. I wanted so badly to fit societies blueprint of a successful young woman in every way possible that I lost myself in the process.

So here I am now, living in the bedroom I grew up in with my kitten, single and unsure of what I really want but finally finding that happiness. I have thrown away that old piece of paper with dreams I created when I was younger, and I am reevaluating what real happiness means to me. And instead of thinking about what could have been or “how it should be” I am learning to start fresh & be patient with myself. The fact of the matter is there isn’t a blueprint for the perfect young woman in this society.

So one of the hardest things I am learning is that it’s about what you want, not what others expect. It might take a little longer to get the things I want in life, but with the right amount of focus, passion, and dedication it will last this time around. Don’t limit yourself to a specific outline. Just work hard, love harder, and push for the dreams that you dreamt the night before. Life is too short to be living in the past, creating an unrealistic future, & ignoring the beauty in the present. I promise you, you will be a success if you can simply live for yourself.

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28 thoughts on “Living Beyond the Blueprint

    • Thank you so much Brienne! I absolutely agree, it’s all about looking over those things and taking the time to achieve them instead of rushing into everything. Often it’s about the journey instead of the destination.

  1. Happiness, happiness!
    My dear friend, happiness,
    My unparalleled friend, happiness!
    You help me to defy death’s existence.
    You help me to purify sorrow’s presence.
    You help me to strengthen my weakness.
    You help me to enlighten my strength.
    You help me to see the face
    Of promise-dawn.
    You help me to feel the heart
    Of satisfaction-moon.
    You help me to lead
    The human in me.
    You help me to feed
    The divine in me.
    You help me to fulfil
    The Supreme in me.
    My Eternity’s friend, happiness,
    You were, you are
    And you shall forever remain
    My Eternity’s only true friend.

    :)

  2. Hard lesson for sure, but a great one! Goals change & modify as we get older, can’t define life by a timeline it moves too fast and we forget to love the moment we are in if we are always looking ahead or even worse behind. Again, you perfectly articulate thoughts I’ve had many times! Health, happiness, love & appreciation for all our blessings…that’s what I found works for me & my life. Have a great day Bailey, you started mine with a smile!

  3. You should have just edited the list, and kept editing it as you changed. Here’s something I do.
    A while back, I found myself regretting some choices I had made, so I thought “what will I regret having done, or wish that I had done, two years from now?” After I thought about it, I started doing those things that I guessed I’d feel bad about. And now I’m the president of the Universe! Or, no, wait….

  4. “The problem was I was compromising my happiness for these things simply because it was all, at one point, exactly what I thought I wanted. And on top of it all I was being unrealistic. I had stopped celebrating my youth to live the adult life I had dreamed of.”

    I guess most of us go through this phase. I, too, have been a victim of my own own ideals back when I was still dreaming of becoming a lady. Now that we find ourselves in that position, that’s when we realize that most of those things that we dreamed of matter anymore.

    “So one of the hardest things I am learning is that it’s about what you want, not what others expect.”

    We live in a world where people expect others to operate by the same standards – act they way they think they’re supposed to act, say the right things and be generally, agreeable. But you’re right, it’s about what we want, what we know could, in the long run, be generally good for us. We focus so much on the things that other people may say not realizing that we ignore ourselves in the process.

    I’m happy you’re moving forward in whatever obstacles you’re experiencing right now, Bailey. It’s a giant leap of faith. And believe me, faith goes a long way.

    You are an inspiration, still. Never forget that. Oh, and sorry this got so long. Haha. :)

    • Jen you always, always know just what to say. I have definitely been ignoring myself in the process and I found myself a bit lost — but I’m getting back to such a good place (thanks to positive people like you!) Never apologize for long comments, they keep me going and inspire me to keep writing. So thank you lady. I hope you are having a beautiful day. xoxo

      • It’s always a pleasure, Bailey. I love seeing your growth in the process of whatever it is you’re going through right now. :) It’s such a positive and inspiring growth. I am awed by your strength :)

  5. nice post and blog…and you´re right, there is no blueprint for happiness (certainly not one to fit all types). We are all trying in our own way everyday to find our way and that search for happiness and perfection, it never stops and thats what make life interesting…..

    • Hi Mark, you are right about that, it never really stops. I’m in that weird space after high school where I’m still finding my way, but I’m doing my best to enjoy the little things. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, I really appreciate it.

  6. Well said! Happiness really isn’t one size fits all but rather a custom tailored fit that changes as we do. Many of our dominating wants and checklists are the result of ubiquitous marketing efforts that are spread by the people that are influenced by them. I think we’re all capable of knowing what’s most important to us as individuals. If we take the time to critically examine what we do and don’t need in our lives we are far better off :)

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    • Jenny, thank you for taking the time to comment on my post. I am usually better about replying to comments, but I needed a little break from writing for a while. I will say that since I wrote this I’ve realized that we never truly stop learning, growing, & discovering new things about ourselves. It’s quite beautiful actually:) thank you again xoxo

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