It’s 11:59

It was August so I had my window open as I laid on my bed and journaled about whatever 18 year olds think about. I heard music and that was my que. I quickly hopped off my bed, grabbed a light sweater, my headlamp, and a blanket and headed out the door. 

I walked to the beginning of a trail and laid down. I was excited, and the stars reflected that little tinge of twinkle I was feeling. It was just me, the dirt, some crickets, and a distant Michael Franti. I absolutely love Franti and I spent a lot of my time finding happiness in his music that Summer. The words were hard to hear so I had to listen closely, but I didn’t mind. I stayed until the concert was over and then I walked back home. I was young and broke and unable to splurge on things like concert tickets. But I promised myself I’d see him there one day (and that I’d remember bug spray next time I went on a whim and laid in the dirt)

Last night I finally followed through with that promise. I went with my aunties, our friend Steph, and my friend Chris. Tickets were sold out but my aunt somehow tracked down tickets for us, and I have been waiting to see him for weeks! Franti put on an incredible show.. the night was honestly perfect. I drank too much wine and champagne and went for the last bite of cheese. We danced and sang and laughed at the dance moves we saw people come up with.

The moon was almost full and there was a light breeze, just like the night I listened from afar and dreamed of making it to that very spot someday. I ran into close friends and old friends. My first crush Patrick Brown and his beautiful girlfriend, Aly, were there. And my favorite newlyweds & soon to be parents, Mika & Chan, were also there. I squeezed the hand of each person I was with at least once. I’m a firm believer in “I love you” squeezes.

Michael talked about a couple of his songs prior to singing them which made the concert so intimate. He dedicated one song to a sick child he visited in the hospital the day of the show here in SLC. His genuine words gave me chills and my eyes welled up with tears. And when he discussed writing one of my favorite songs, “11:59” (click here to listen to it), on Valentines day I finally just allowed myself to truly be in that moment. I can’t remember feeling that full of love, life, and happiness.

There was an older lady who caught my eye right when we got there. She had beautiful silver hair and it was cut in the perfect Anna Wintour bob. She just smiled and danced with a glass of wine in her hand and her shoes off to the side. I told Chris I thought she was beautiful and he said “That’s you in 35 years.” and it made my day. When Franti came and sang right next to where we sitting she came and stood next to me. We were dancing away, barefoot and bronzed with a little liquid courage. I finally told her how lovely she was and that I hope to be like her someday. She smiled, and without a word she put her arm around me and we danced for a good 10 minutes together. I’ll never forget that.

And so as Summer slowly fades and Fall makes its grand entrance I can confidently say that I have fallen in love with life all over again. Sure, there have been hiccups along the way but that’s when you just hold your breath and wait it out (or hope someone scares the shit out of you like a good friend would so you can laugh about ti and move on)

Last night reminded me that as an adult you still have to follow through with the promises your teenage self made. Push for the thrills you once sought after. Run to the dreams you may find silly now, but felt so passionate about then. And most important, surround yourself with the people that you can celebrate love and life with. Tell that stranger they are beautiful and sip on wine from plastic cups. Because if you do it right you’ll look back and think to yourself “It just kept getting better.”

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5 thoughts on “It’s 11:59

    • If I could only express how ridiculous my smile has been since I read this comment. You’re very kind! I’ve flirted with the idea… Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to do it. Thank you :)

  1. Ive had these thoughts as well. As I get older the thoughts only become louder. I have found painting and realizing what I do have helps me become grounded and more grateful. PS love your blog

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