One Day You’re Here

The word of the day is Empathy.

Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feeling of another.

Okay, so. Empathy is a beautiful thing. But my problem is that I feel it times 1,000. I take on what others are experiencing and then add whatever is going on in my heart as well. I have been this way since I was a little girl.

When I feel pain I cry, I grow, I lean on love, I cope, and eventually I find strength. But when the people I love the most experience pain I absolutely crumble. It is one of my weaknesses.

Two weeks ago I was with a few of the women I love the most to celebrate the holidays. Food, drinks, squawking, the usual. These are my mothers closest friends who each lent a hand in raising me. I adore them. And at one point we were discussing our love for a specific friend in our “village”, Lance. And then we continued with our evening.

The next time I saw the girls we were mourning the loss of our great friend, Lance. Just like that… that is how short life is. One week he is here and we are laughing about his little quirks that we love — the next he is not. And I struggle to find the words to describe how heartbreaking it has been to witness so much pain in my loved ones lives..

I don’t handle death very well, and I’m not sure I ever will. I mean, is that even a thing? “Handling” death? If so it is certainly not a thing in my life at this time.

Why does it happen? Why are such incredible people taken so early in life? It’s confusing. It’s horrible. It really may never make sense.

All I know is that death is a brutal and heartbreaking reminder that we must cherish every single day. We must never wait until tomorrow to do what we dream about. We must love the family and friends we are blessed with, and remind them how amazing they are on a regular basis.

Because one day you can be here — and the next, you may not.

Lance you will never be forgotten. Your laugh that would fill the room, the way you’d tilt your head back and let your whole body laugh. Your fabulous eye shadows you’d rock at the different themed parties (or just on a regular ole’ day). And the joy you brought by sharing your love and knowledge for plants. We will remember you when the flowers bloom this Spring and always look back on all the great memories with joy… I pray that you have found peace. And I promise to plant my garden with more love and care then I did last year.. just for you.


4 thoughts on “One Day You’re Here

  1. First of all, I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. But I am learning that death can, but must not rob us of life.

    The term “cherishing every day” is one we hear often. If only the importance of it were felt for all of its strength before it is forced upon us. It can’t be emphasized enough. I lost the love of my life, my wonderful wife, a year and a half ago. I believe we did cherish everyday and showed it to each other throughout our marriage, but when it happens, it still never seems like it was enough. The fact that we were so open and free with our feelings has helped me continue living, and if I were to feel that we had not cherished everyday, today would be unbearable..But even with that, I long for one more.

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