What Makes Me Go

Every morning at 5 a.m Beyonce serenades and motivates my ass via my alarm clock while I fumble around and put my gym clothes on like a little zombie. Then I get into my car and drive to the gym within 5 minutes (I know, it’s so close, I’m spoiled).

Sometimes I meet my best friend Kelsey, and sometimes I go alone. But I always commit 2 hours at the beginning of the day to myself. It’s my me time where I work through all the things going on in my head. It’s the green light to my day, the thing that makes me go.

For some women it’s shopping, spa days, champagne and high heels. For me it’s my Nike’s, headphones, Nalgene filled with ice cold water, and an ass kicking. I love and enjoy the alternative, but the gym fuels me unlike any gorgeous new handbag. When I exercise I’m investing in myself. My happiness, health, and well-being are invaluable to me.

But this morning when I peeled my eyeballs open (yah, it’s rough sometimes) I realized that I needed something different for the day. So instead of rushing to the gym and breaking a sweat I chose to make myself some tea, sit down on my meditation pillow, and be still. I chose an exercise for my mind.

And it was beautiful. I focused on my breath. I woke up slowly. I was mindful of my thoughts. And the most important thing was that I was gentle with myself.

Next week I have my first big test at school, and I’m dedicating this weekend to studying. I’m sure there will be moments of frustration where I am tired and would rather stick burning needles in my eyeballs than work on my review…. But I feel like meditating this morning really prepared me for the next week.

I’m learning that we need a variety of things in our lives to remain aware. Things that challenge us, educate us, motivate us, and comfort us. But for me the biggest thing is finding the moments, people, and activities that quiet my thoughts. Meditating does that for me. Looking at someone I love does that for me. Sharing my thoughts by writing on this blog and hearing feedback from like-minded individuals does that for me.

I didn’t need squats, dumbells, and burpees today. I needed to keep my heart open, my thoughts pure, and my energy centered while I remained present. Sometimes in life the quieter we become, the more we can hear. 

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15 thoughts on “What Makes Me Go

  1. Good points! I usually start my day with a workout as well but due to a recent ankle injury, I’ve been going a little crazy trying to figure out how to de-stress and not get too restless. I meditate off and on but haven’t figured out how to quiet my mind (I usually end up thinking about what I have to do that day, what workout to try next, breakfast, etc.). Maybe since yoga and cardio is not allowed for the next few weeks, this is the perfect time to try getting better with the meditation so thanks for the idea and good luck with the test!

    • Thank you! I think that meditating is such a process, and it comes down to truly being loving and patient with yourself. Clearing your head and focusing on your breath is harder than it sounds! Sending you lots of peace and good energy.

  2. You have great writing skills Bayz. . About the gym…, i have fucked up the place where my hip bone’s connected to my back bone (**insert musical notes here) so I gots to do some PT. Love you buckets.

    • Annie mom, it means the WORLD to me that you read and comment on my blog. It really does. Be patient with yourself and your body. I am so sorry :( you will heal, and come back 10 times stronger. And just remember that sometimes injuries are our bodies way of saying “slow down, breathe, be gentle with yourself.” I love you.

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