Mindful Of Your Words

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Happy Thursday dolls. I’m really working on thinking before I speak. Which is kind of hard for me sometimes. We have to be so careful to taste our words before we spit them out. I learned that the hard way recently. So today when you feel like blurting something out try and be mindful of exactly what message you’re sending.

Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind, is it true, is it necessary, does it improve upon the silence?” -Shirdi Sai Baba

xoxo, Bee

Oversharing and Living in The Now

In the last year I’ve noticed an unhealthy pattern with social media: it sends a message that we’re never good enough, that there is always something or someone doing it bigger and better out there. Because of this we often put up a front instead of showing who we really are. Some do it out of fear, insecurity, uncertainty, or to try and avoid “social rejection”. Others do it because they thrive off of attention, they need to feel validated in everything that they’re doing and they want to show that they are “winning” in this game of life. Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter each have their own influence.

So much time is wasted on these things that can never bring us genuine comfort, happiness, love, or the healthy social interaction we need as humans. And we tend to spiral into a negative head game with ourselves by comparing our lives to others, usually complete strangers, who manage to portray the “perfect life” (that does not exist) by posting photos and videos online. This is so. damn. unhealthy. And honestly, it’s kind of scary. We make up a romantic illusion of what our lives look like, when really things are far from what your feed reflects.

I’ll be the first to admit that I regularly have unhealthy thoughts about my reality and the life I show online. I’ll think “I should take a photo of these weights to prove how healthy I am, to show that I’m dedicated to my fitness.” or “This dinner was delicious and it happens to be pretty, I should snap a photo and upload it to show off my love for time in the kitchen.” or the best one, “I look good today. I should post a #selfie and then put a quote as the caption that has nothing to do with my face. It will distract others from the fact that I’m trying to bring attention to myself” And before I know it I’ve wasted time at the gym, my food is cold, or I’m being rude to those around me by giving all of my energy & attention to an insignificant little app that will not ever truly measure the “good” in who I am or add value to my life. It’s all really unfortunate.

How can we be our authentic selves & truly enjoy this beautiful opportunity to create a life we love when we’re so caught up in this rat race? When we’re constantly missing the miracles in life because our heads are down & we’re living through others? Yes, I am guilty of being sucked into social media & societies expectations. I have been doing it all for years now, including this little blog of mine. For a long time these things were positive outlets. I posted uplifting thoughts, photos of nature, and things that simply made me happy. But it has grown into such an unhealthy daily game of comparison that I’ve decided to step away for a while. No more Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram for me. I need to take a breather from all the bullshit. I desperately need some authenticity in my life. And I need to really think about what I want my message to the world to be.

“Your life is your message to the world. Make it inspiring.”

― Lorrin L. Lee

We should be doing things because they make us & the people we love happy. Our actions, words, and goals should be said, and done, for personal fulfillment, not for ego boosts & validation from strangers who will never truly get to know who we really are. Photos aren’t taken to get as many “likes” & “comments”, they are taken to capture moments that take our breath away, moments that we want to be able to look back on & reflect as individuals. Not to edit the shit out of them, throw on a tacky font with a word like “Yum!” or “Joy!” & post online. Give me a break.

It is time to get real with ourselves. To embrace the fact that life is messy sometimes & we don’t have to share every little thing we do. Sometimes it’s about the quiet moments we have with ourselves. And sometimes it’s about deep, intimate, raw discussions that we have when we are connected with somebody else… Looking straight in the other persons eyes, not into a screen.

Humans tend to be so self involved. We forget that there is an entire world out there filled with so many other beautiful, intelligent, incredible beings. They don’t have iPhones but they do have hearts bigger than their bodies give them credit for and dreams far too large to document in one photo. When are we going to begin celebrating that about people? The quality of their character, their dreams & accomplishments, and their zest for life & making it better for others. That is what matters. Not your “Man crush Monday” “Throwback Thursday” or “Flashback Friday” posts that are repetitive & mean nothing. Go do something. Go be something. Make someones day & resist the urge to tell everyone & their dog about it. Stop posting about it & simply be about it. I promise you it will feel good. It’s time to break the habit of over-sharing and begin living in the now.

I hope that this break will help bring clarity into my life and allow me to step back, breathe, and truly be here.

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When Things Get Heavy

One of my biggest flaws is not paying enough attention to detail (always has been) but I’m working hard to make sure it will not always be. I’m learning life is easier when we stop running away from our personal flaws.. or even worse, ignoring them. I’m not saying I accept the fact that I drove to Idaho this morning because I missed the exit I take to get home on a regular basis (too much on my mind + Romans neat perma-meow/panting the whole way home didn’t help)… Alls I’m sayin’ is I’m not going to beat myself into the ground because of it  (route B was much prettier anyway) My point is that mistakes do not erase our self-worth, they teach us lifelong lessons that increase it bit by bit. This is, of course, as long as we choose to learn from the bumps in the road instead of letting them throw us off track.

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I guess what I’m trying to say is a little bird is telling me one of you may need to be reminded that you’re incredible, and you probably don’t even know it. Be soft with yourself, sweets. You’re just learning and the books only get heavier from here. Get some reading glasses that you feel like a babe in & get to studying, darlin. It’s a long, windy, beautiful & sometimes ugly road ahead. (Don’t tell your mum I said this) but sometimes I get so busy keeping my heart active that I forget to use my brain — and I don’t see a damn thing wrong with that.

You Will Be Stronger

You had me second guess myself so many times that I’d be surprised to find a single doubt within if you asked me to look today. You led me astray more times than I chose to count. I fell flat on my face but I didn’t ever give up. My phone bill teetered towards overage charges for the first time since high school; I sobbed to my mum so many times our plan couldn’t keep up, yet somehow she always did. It’s been since I said farewell to my childhood that my lips have trembled like they did during this month. I crumbled in situations that I’d usually be holding down.

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And sometimes, if the stars aligned just right, I’d be at the end of a gut-wrenching day doing my best to catch my breath & I would suddenly find myself in an opulent moment. After letting those sporadic moments of bliss amongst blur confuse me for a while, I started using them as fuel: I knew if I consistently fought until I couldn’t anymore I’d start to see results. Slowly but surely, things began making sense.

April, I know we didn’t always see eye to eye, but our 30 days of trial & error together splashed color on my white walls & infused a deep appreciation within. Thank you for kicking me in the ass even though I was usually still trying to get up from the last time. And, thank you for teaching me how to be strong even when I am alone. I reached out to my incredible loved ones a lot, to say the least, but whenever a new situation arose I had to learn to adjust (still learning how)

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I guess I’ve decided that a firm reality check isn’t always the sweetest cup of tea, but it sure does make a pretty little promise — that this too shall pass, and when it does, you will be stronger. 

All my love until we meet again next year, xoxo, your little warrior

“April hath put a spirit of youth in everything.” (Sonnet XCVIII) -William Shakespeare

Digging in deep

Today I made a big mistake by not paying enough attention to detail. This particular habit always seems to bite me in the butt… I guess some foibles are more difficult to rid than others. For finals we have five articles due, one every night this week. I misunderstood & I shouldn’t have — it is all laid out on our class page & my professor told us plenty of times.

My professor asks us on an individual level how our articles are coming along each week. He’s brilliant, and he cares, which makes him one of the best teachers I have ever had. When he asked how mine were coming along I told him I had three stories with sources & had to do the interviews this week. When he look more concerned than usual I knew I made a mistake.

I thought all 5 were due on Friday — and I was wrong. There is one article due every night this week. My face started to burn.

It slipped. I said fuck. In front of everyone in class. Now I’m the girl in Logan with a bad mouth who can’t get her articles finished on time, FABULOUS! That’s just fan-fuckin-tastic. Yes, sorry, I said it once so I said it again because I needed to let it out.

Those that don’t approve of that word are likely back to stalking their ex on Facebook. (Then again, those that are/would be judging me probably left a long time ago) ANYWAY…

I hurried and got online to do some research. I found a lead & started to write.

My professor approved it & I went straight to do an interview after a couple of phone calls.

When I got there nobody really knew what I was talking about — and the one person that they said ‘probably did’, had just left.

Oye… too little too late.

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Long story not short at all (are you seeing a trend here?…ya, me too), I ended up buying a new pot & some soil for a plant in-need waiting at home because it was convenient; My interview was at a garden shop that was, by the way, amaze-balls. My money-tree has been dying (no pun intended) to be re-potted for weeks. I’m a bad plant mommy. BUT I finally remembered to grab what I needed to give him a happy home.

I love crystals. I use them when I meditate and I studied doing chakra work with them last summer. But my passion for crystals began when I was younger, specifically with the amethyst in the far right of the photo. It’s late now & I need to get some rest, but I promise to tell you that story soon. It’s beautiful, and I learned a lesson I still live by today.

I mostly hope my baby tree loves his new home and that he is much happier now. I know it’s lame, but I believe if you give a plant the right kind of love it will love you right back. Dig deep often & give all living things a beautiful space to grow & your life might feel a little lighter.

Although I have let myself down at school this week, I am still glad I got busy with my plans instead of sulking. I’ve never understood why gardening is so theraputic until now… Sometimes when you’re feeling down, you should do just that: get on your knee’s, plunge those hard-working hands into the dirt and pull. Create. Plant. Give life by placing a tiny seed. I can’t promise anything, but I think you might feel better.


Chasing Dreams vs. Size One Jeans

It’s sad to me when I see beautiful women with the world in their hands practically chanting ‘thin, thin, thin’ as if that’s the motto. When did society get to decide your shape? And when did it become all you care about? What about your hopes & dreams? Imagine the life you can create for yourself if you simply put the energy focused on being thin towards your personal goals. I promise you’d catch yourself forgetting all about having the ‘perfect figure’ because people would be looking up to you as a person of success vs. you always looking down on yourself to check the number on the scale. That will come from hard work–it comes from being strong. 

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Ladies, I am young & many of you are as well. I just want you to know that you have the whole world in your hands! And someday, if it’s part of your journey (for many of you it already has been), you will be given the gift of motherhood. My main concern is this: how can we expect to teach our children self-love, respect, and proper care for their bodies when we are practicing habits that rebel against all of those things & more?

And to set the record straight, it is not just women who struggle with insecurities rooting from their physical appearance. Men have just as hard of a time although they might express it differently or not at all. So, this isn’t just for the ladies, this is for all of the handsome and capable men out there as well.

Put your dreams before your jeans. Stop telling yourself you can’t. Eat healthy, stay active, be positive and always stay focused on what really matters. Life is a balancing act & nobody is perfect. But if you can open your eyes to all of your potential and run with it I’m sure you’ll catch yourself having those rewarding “this is absolutely perfect” moments quite often. Once you control your mind you can conquer your body.

Don’t look back. You are amazing & you’re worth it. Go. 

Learning From Others

Well hi beautiful!! How are you on this delicious Wednesday? Really though, I want to know. This blog was created by me but inspired by you open up to me! We have some new readers this week & I am so happy you are here. Nothing like a new friend in the blogosphere to make my day. I don’t know about other blogs, but around here we are like a family — you can discuss things dear to your heart without being judged. I’m excited to hear from all of you:)

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This morning I didn’t follow my regular routine; Instead, I got up at 7:00 & snuggled with Roman on the couch with the windows wide open. We watched the sunrise & I think it’s my new favorite thing! What’s better then rising with the sun? It was absolutely beautiful. 

Today I’m focusing on doing a karma Cleanse, would you like to join me? There are 5 steps:

  • Be grateful
  • Act with love
  • Check your motives
  • Watch your attitude
  • Forgive

Last night I started thinking: Why do some women instantly act ugly when another beautiful woman walks in the room? You are both beautiful… Celebrate it together!! Empowered women can shake the world if we choose to do it together. I believe that it starts with being nice.

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to hate someone because they have something you are working towards for yourself. Trust me honey, hating someone for their success doesn’t make your journey towards your personal success any easier. In fact, when you see someone that has the things you desire, look to them for advice! Do it your way, but get tips from others who have figured out what works for them. It might not work for you, but finding things you don’t enjoy often leads you to things that you loveJani tweeted this to me and I want to share it with you (follow her if you don’t already, she’s hilarious): “Indeed mentors often come dressed in the wardrobe you desire. #nohate

Just a bit of food for your thoughts this morning. It’s gorgeous outside here in Logan today and I feel too good to stay in & blog — I’ll do that when the sun goes down. Until then, follow this link to the last thing I am dying to share for the day. (I also went to my first Crossfit class this morning & I can’t wait to tell you about it!) 

All my love, Bee