Alone But Not Lonely

I remember being about 13 years old and going through pre-teen “funks”. I was (and still can be) a moody little shit. But I always knew what the solution was. I’d hurry home, play soccer until the sun went down, and then “redecorate” my bedroom. I would put in my favorite CD and go to town. Getting rid of things that no longer served a purpose and reflecting on the things that did (I was a weird kid). I’d always make my mom stay upstairs until I was done (which I’m sure she was thrilled about) and then reveal my “new and improved space” when I finished. I knew at a young age how much of an impact my personal space had on my mood.

With that little hobby came big dreams of having my own apartment. I imagined that it would have beautiful art, shelves full of books of poetry, romance, sorrow, and adventure…candles, music, plenty of plants, and soft pillows and large blankets. A place to relax and write, entertain the people I love, make memories, and dream . And I am incredibly blessed to say that my little shoe-box apartment is beginning to fit that description.

It’s been such a fun and rewarding process for me to make that dream into a reality. But like all good things it has taken time. I have added each piece that is in my home slowly, making sure that each object resonates with me some way or another.

A few months ago my aunt Carolyn told me that she wanted to buy me a piece of art for my home. I was so excited. But I’d been looking for a while and just couldn’t find anything that made me feel like I had to have it. Last weekend while my mom and aunt were out shopping they came across a piece at my favorite store, Dancing Cranes. They sent me a photo of it but I just wasn’t in the mindset at the time to make a decision about whether or not I wanted it.

For the past week I’ve been on my way home and thought about that piece as I drove past DC. Today all three of us went back to Dancing Cranes and it was still there. I guess that is how I knew that it was meant to be mine. I came home, hammered a nail into my paper-thin wall, and just stared at it. It’s perfect where it is.

The piece is called “You Found Me, Alone But Not Lonely.” It’s such an accurate symbol of where I am at in my life right now. The photo was taken in Bear Rive Migratory Bird Refuge.

You Found Me, Alone But Not Lonely.

I just finished reading Gabrielle Bernstein’s book “Spirit Junkie: A Radical Road to Self-Love and Miracles.” and it is now a new favorite of mine. So I decided to buy myself a new book to keep my reading flow going as well as a meditation pillow. I have been using a pillow from my bed or I’ve just sat on the floor while meditating, so I’m eager to have a comfortable place to gather my thoughts, pray, and meditate everyday.

The book I purchased is called “I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up For Education and Was Shot By The Taliban.”

I truly believe that Malala is our youngest and most powerful female voice right now and that she will continue to do incredible things throughout her life. Her book has truly moved me. I’ve made a promise to myself to only read it when I have time to really allow her words to sink in and sit with me. I start school next month and her story has changed my prospective on getting my education as a female. I strongly encourage you to purchase it for yourself and/or someone you love.

"I Am Malala"Meditation pillow

I hope that you have had a weekend full of the things that bring you inner peace and joy. It can be hard to find time for ourselves during the holidays, and some people look down on it. But I find it absolutely essential to find a balance between giving love to others and giving love to yourself in order to be happy and healthy.

All my love, Bailey Mikell 

 

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A Mothers Prayer

Tina Fey is good but I didn’t know she was this good. She wrote this “mothers prayer” for her 5-year-old daughter Alice in her memoir BossypantsIt’s the perfect mixture of sweet, silly, and sappy — how could I not share? This sheds light on what a mother’s love, worries & undeniable understanding of her daughter looks like. Plus we all know I’m a sucker for mother-daughter themed things. It’s okay, you’re allowed to laugh your ass off AND cry… yes, even if you’re at your desk at work. Blame it on the allergie, works like a charm every time.

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her

When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes and not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it. (my personal favorite)

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. 

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

Being picky about what I put into my mind: #2

Todays motivational podcast is “The Masters of The Secret”

I read The Secret for the first time when I was a junior in high school. I was struggling at school and in my personal life at the time and was looking for any and all solutions. Bad habits were making my days revolve around negativity and I was tired of living like that — I was ready to give life my very best. After reading it my day to day life began to shift. My habits went from negative to positive and I was much happier. It wasn’t a miracle, it wasn’t magic, it was a decision I made that focused on turning my life around. The Secret teaches you how to handle life’s ups and downs and how to create a good life for yourself.

Follow this link to listen to Bill Harris talk to the people behind the Secret. The things I learned during my junior year in high school from The Secret  are still used in my life today. I hope you find it to be as uplifting & inspiring as I do.

To all naysayers: If you think The Secrets method of using The Law of Attraction does not work, then you’re right. If you believe it can work, it will. What you put out is what you get back. Your thoughts are powerful, whether you believe they are or not.

All my love, Bee


“Never forget the dexterous & deft”

In honor of  Theodor Seuss Geisel’s birthday, also known as Dr. Seuss, I wanted to post my favorite quote by him. Shortly after I began the search for “my favorite” I realized I was being foolish to think I could stand to pick just ONE.

My aunt Kerry & cousin Kimberly would read his books to me at grandmas when I was wee, I read them to Talya and Zeb, and I still sneak away to the children’s section at the bookstore to get a chapter or two in. His message speaks to souls of every age and that, I believe, is what made him brilliant. Thank you for painting the trials of life with every color imaginable. Here’s to you, Mr. Geisel. Happy Birthday

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own.
And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

“You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.”

“All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you’ll be quite a lot”

The second one is really beautiful to me. I find that a healthy amount dose of alone time (when spent doing positive things) is very rewarding. In my opinion it’s an excellent way to find yourself over & over again without paying a dime for a therapist ;)

“It has often been said
there’s so much to be read,
you never can cram
all those words in your head.

So the writer who breeds
more words than he needs
is making a chore
for the reader who reads.”

Last but not least the quote that hits close to home for all writers. I believe being a powerful writer means packing a punch with a small amount of words. This is something I (obviously) have to work on every single day.

If It Were A Book

I’ve been trying to accept that good things happen to bad people..

I ordered a book my friend Jani recommended called  “Women Who Think Too Much”. I spend a large amount of my time doing that & I’m ready to make a change for the better. Women tend to overanalyze things & it’s not healthy. It will be my new bath time read. Thank you Jani.

Hell week (or hell weeks) is among us and it’s everything you’d imagine it to be. An article is due every day for 11 days. We typically have 1 article per week so it’s a lot more work then we’re used to.

I’ll be in SLC for CJ’s funeral this weekend, back home for a day, then back to SLC for an all day work summit next week. Not much I can do other then get plenty of rest & prepare myself mentally. Anyway, if you have the time I want you to ask yourself this question today: if your life was a book and you were the author how would you want your story to go? Watch this video & get inspired to make it an incredible story.

 I hope you all have a great Thursday. All my love, xoxo

Life Is Made For..

I have found a new love that makes early mornings something to look forward to… Eggs over easy, wheat toast, cholula hot sauce & a good book in bed. I used to make scrambled eggs every single day after school in elementary. I wouldn’t eat them with anything except ketchup (I know, sort of gross). After a couple years I burned myself out & dodged all eggs. For some reason I woke up ready to give them another shot, and I’m glad I did. Add some coffee/tea & you’re in heaven.

I’ve decided life is made for pb&j’s & dancing your ass off in the kitchen (to this song, naturally), so that is what is on my agenda on my day off. The floor also needs to be mopped & I’ve got laundry for days. My closet will be color coated by the end of today no matter what measures I have to take to make sure of it. There are a couple sites that have great tips for the perfect closet. These are the two I’m looking to for guidance 1/2

All my love, Bee