Made To Love

 

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Alright people I’m just going to make this simple. I love to love. I truly feel like I as an individual was made to love. Some have told me that’s not really a “thing” but I like to think otherwise. It is my strongest (and at times it has been my weakest) trait.

I always have and always will firmly believe that when in doubt you just have to add a little love to it. So I do. Every single day I make it a point to say “I love you” to someone in my life without even speaking those three words. With time I’ve learned that there are so many ways that you can say I love you, it just comes down to whether or not the receiving individual is able to hear it. 

So, lets take a break from that discussion so that I can make a quick point about today: It’s really kind of weird to me that people who are single get so down on themselves on Valentines day. Is the day not about love? Do you not have any in your life? If not, create it. Self-love, google it. Family and friends? Yah go squeeze the shit out of them, it feels really good I promise. Love is so much more than flowers, chocolate, and diamonds on a random day in February. Don’t dwell on the fact that it may be lacking. Just make it happen. You deserve it.

So, since today is “love-day” I vow to celebrate the ridiculous amount that I am blessed to have in my life. My family and friends make my world go ’round. And I’m going to do my very best to remind them of that.

So if and when you feel kind of bummed today do this: Slow down, take a big deep breath, focus on what you have and repeat after me: life is not about what I can get, it is about what I can give. 

And hopefully your heart will feel a little lighter, your world a bit brighter, and your soul will stir with ideas of how you can bring more love into the peoples lives around you. Which, in the most badass way ever, will bring more love into your life in return. How about that for a thought? It’s a win-win babe. I’m tellin’ ya. Love is kind of magical like that. So please, have a beautiful day, kick ass, hug lots of peeps alright?

All my love, cheesy thoughts (and 20-something thoughts) on love until next time,

XOXO, B

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Flowers On Your Doorstep

You deserve flowers on your doorstep and coffee in the morning. You deserve notes left on your dashboard and ice cream sundaes at 3 a.m. You deserve honesty everyday and to be kissed every hour. You deserve to be reminded how beautiful you are. -Shia Labeouf

And you deserve to be told that you are enough, you are more than enough.

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If the girl had been worth having she’d have waited for you?’ No, sir, the girl really worth having won’t wait for anybody.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

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My Intention for 2014

Usually I take some time to write a post about my year. Obviously everyone needs to know how I felt about it, right? ;) But this year it feels best to keep it short & sweet — 2013 was many things.. and a year I will never forget. I feel gratitude for the people, experiences, and challenges it brought into my life. But I have shared my thoughts on many things over the last year on this blog & I feel as though it’s time to truly put the good, and the bad, in the past.

With that said, I woke up this morning eager to start the first day of the year. When I first thought about making New Years resolutions I did what I do and got busy over-thinking (naturally) Here’s my first list aka clusterfuck: Get a 4.0 during Spring semester, finish my first half marathon with a great time (or just finish, that’s cool too), improve my performance at work, make my apartment more Pinterest-y, or beat last years time when I compete in the Spartan this June for the 2nd year. But I quickly realized all of that doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. These things are like the sprinkles on top of the cake — nice, but not necessary.

I’d rather commit the year to improving myself all together and putting energy towards being the well-rounded, loving woman I know that I can be someday. I love my life and the adventures I’m about to embark on and I plan on doing the things listed above. But I know there is more to “it” than just that.

So as I sat in my last pose in my last yoga class of 2013 I set my intention for 2014: Create more love and bring it into all the different areas in my life. My career, education, relationships, yoga practice, and the things that bring me pain could all use less structure and more love. Pure, undeniable love makes the cake — marathons, good grades, a nice job, etc. are the sprinkles.

“Forgive others. Not necessarily because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” -Unknown
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I have really focused on coming from love when handling hard situations over the last 2 months. There have been times where my heart has ached, I’ve felt anger, confusion (ya lots of that) and betrayal. Moments where I had 2 options: be an emotional biatch or take a big deep breath and remember it’s better to be happy than right. I reminded myself that it’s not what happens to me in life, it is how I react. AKA I calmed my sassy brazilian ass down and let whatever was ruffling my feathers go.
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So when people or situations bring me pain I will choose to bring compassion, understanding, patience, forgiveness, and above all I will come from love. One of the most important lessons I learned in 2013 was that those who bring negativity and sadness to your life need exactly the opposite in return. They need love. It’s true.. those who hurt others need love more than we could ever truly imagine.

So here we go babes. Another year down where I hope you feel like you kicked some ass, but if not there’s good news… We have 365 days of blank pages and we can choose what we’d like to do with them. Isn’t that incredible?

So if someone is really awful to you and you’re not sure why, just think “Wow, you’re kind of an asshole. Maybe you need a hug?” How people treat you is their karma — how you respond is yours.

It will be hard to always be full of love because unfortunate circumstances are inevitable in life. All I know is that on December 31st when I’m looking back on the days of 2014 it will be impossible to feel regret when all I see is love.

Happy New Year dolls,

XOXO Bailey Mikell 4b6be466786d46c25eda788c9ce64e3a

For Men Who’ve Never Held Your Feet

Every 6 months or so I go through the large wooden Olive and Cocoa box where I keep the little things that bring me joy. Birthday cards & “wish you were here’s“, gut-wrenchingly beautiful articles, old photos, worn ticket stubs, and quotes. With time these things begin to look scattered and lost — my pile of messy love. A tiny piece of my heart is in that box. And tonight was the night that I went through it, reflected, and organized the little notes and trinkets.

As I was doing this I found a quote folded up that I printed off at work. I did so because at the time there was a man in my life that treated me like a kitchen dish towel. It felt as though he had found me nicely folded, dunked me in hot dirty water, used me to clean the corners of his dusty and tattered heart, and then rung me out before he threw me aside to dry. Needless to say, there was some healing to do.

I’ve always loved the way words can handle my emotions that I often don’t know what to do with. This quote is long, but it is such a nice reminder of how far I have come. How much my heart has grown and how much strength I have found since this time of my life. It’s an incredible feeling to know that I’ve made the decision to never allow anyone to make me feel that small again.

So as I sit here on the floor of my cozy little apartment I am crossing my fingers. Hoping that at least one person can relate to this and then think “Wow, I am so much stronger now.” Anyway… I hope you enjoy it.

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“How far have you walked for men who’ve never held your feet in their laps?
How often have you bartered with bone, only to sell yourself short?
Why do you find the unavailable so alluring?
Where did it begin? What went wrong? And who made you feel so worthless?
If they wanted you, wouldn’t they have chosen you?
All this time, you were begging for love silently, thinking they couldn’t hear you, but they smelt it on you, you must have known that they could taste the desperate on your skin?
And what about the others that would do anything for you, why did you make them love you until you could not stand it?
How are you both of these women, both flighty and needful?
Where did you learn this, to want what does not want you?
Where did you learn this, to leave those that want to stay?” 
― Warsan Shire

Love Always Wins

I feel a ridiculous amount of joy when I’m able to connect with somebody in the elevator on my way into the office in the morning. When the woman in line at Target and I bond over our love for the same simple chapstick that we each buy in bulk.When the sweet and incredibly shy man who has repeatedly made me the perfect sandwich for 2 years at my favorite lunch spot finally looks me in the eye and grins at my attempt to start conversation, when I swear to god I’ve tried to get a smile out of him forever. And when I order a coffee and the barista grins and proudly says “Well look at that!

Beautiful moments shared with complete strangers rock my world. This little love note made my day. And it reminded me that no matter what shape or form it comes in or who delivers it love always wins. 
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