I Like My Women Fire Like CAY-ENNE!!

Every morning at the bachelorette pad is not always calm and peaceful with Buddhist bells and incense and happy little quotes. It’s just not.

Sometimes I wake up and I just need to play this song while I’m in the shower. It’s honestly such a good way to get stoked about the day and a favorite throwback of mine. There is nothing like dancing around the house at 6 a.m with a toothbrush in your mouth, wet hair, and a cute pair of underwear. I know you’ve got it in you… go ‘head. Shake it fast.

Hold On

When I was 17 I saw Colbie Caillat in concert here in Salt Lake. That was an odd phase for me, and I stopped listening to her music shortly after. But tonight Kels told me to listen to her new song “Hold On”. And you know what? I plan on playing it loud n’ proud on my way to the gym. And work. And to school. And back home. Sometimes you just need a chick song to rock out to without feeling “dumb” about it. Girlfriend has stepped up her game since the whole “bubbly” situation.

Have a great day my loves!


Drawing Me in And Kicking Me Out

I’ve had a thing for John Legend since “Ordinary People” came out in 2009. And I can’t say there has been a single song that he’s made since then that I don’t enjoy. He’s simple, he’s romantic, and he’s classy. 

He married his girlfriend of six years, the beautiful Chrissy Teigen, in September — and he wrote this amazing song for her. As I drove home tonight the streets were empty and my heat was blasting as tiny snowflakes bombarded my windshield. I hadn’t been home with the exception of my quick outfit change after work. As midnight was approaching I was in a hurry to crawl into my warm bed. It was the perfect time to turn this song up really loud and drive just a little bit over the speed limit. Hey, sometimes the rush mixed with a beautiful song is all a girl needs.

I mean the first verse, come on now. It’s perfect.

It’s 11:59

It was August so I had my window open as I laid on my bed and journaled about whatever 18 year olds think about. I heard music and that was my que. I quickly hopped off my bed, grabbed a light sweater, my headlamp, and a blanket and headed out the door. 

I walked to the beginning of a trail and laid down. I was excited, and the stars reflected that little tinge of twinkle I was feeling. It was just me, the dirt, some crickets, and a distant Michael Franti. I absolutely love Franti and I spent a lot of my time finding happiness in his music that Summer. The words were hard to hear so I had to listen closely, but I didn’t mind. I stayed until the concert was over and then I walked back home. I was young and broke and unable to splurge on things like concert tickets. But I promised myself I’d see him there one day (and that I’d remember bug spray next time I went on a whim and laid in the dirt)

Last night I finally followed through with that promise. I went with my aunties, our friend Steph, and my friend Chris. Tickets were sold out but my aunt somehow tracked down tickets for us, and I have been waiting to see him for weeks! Franti put on an incredible show.. the night was honestly perfect. I drank too much wine and champagne and went for the last bite of cheese. We danced and sang and laughed at the dance moves we saw people come up with.

The moon was almost full and there was a light breeze, just like the night I listened from afar and dreamed of making it to that very spot someday. I ran into close friends and old friends. My first crush Patrick Brown and his beautiful girlfriend, Aly, were there. And my favorite newlyweds & soon to be parents, Mika & Chan, were also there. I squeezed the hand of each person I was with at least once. I’m a firm believer in “I love you” squeezes.

Michael talked about a couple of his songs prior to singing them which made the concert so intimate. He dedicated one song to a sick child he visited in the hospital the day of the show here in SLC. His genuine words gave me chills and my eyes welled up with tears. And when he discussed writing one of my favorite songs, “11:59” (click here to listen to it), on Valentines day I finally just allowed myself to truly be in that moment. I can’t remember feeling that full of love, life, and happiness.

There was an older lady who caught my eye right when we got there. She had beautiful silver hair and it was cut in the perfect Anna Wintour bob. She just smiled and danced with a glass of wine in her hand and her shoes off to the side. I told Chris I thought she was beautiful and he said “That’s you in 35 years.” and it made my day. When Franti came and sang right next to where we sitting she came and stood next to me. We were dancing away, barefoot and bronzed with a little liquid courage. I finally told her how lovely she was and that I hope to be like her someday. She smiled, and without a word she put her arm around me and we danced for a good 10 minutes together. I’ll never forget that.

And so as Summer slowly fades and Fall makes its grand entrance I can confidently say that I have fallen in love with life all over again. Sure, there have been hiccups along the way but that’s when you just hold your breath and wait it out (or hope someone scares the shit out of you like a good friend would so you can laugh about ti and move on)

Last night reminded me that as an adult you still have to follow through with the promises your teenage self made. Push for the thrills you once sought after. Run to the dreams you may find silly now, but felt so passionate about then. And most important, surround yourself with the people that you can celebrate love and life with. Tell that stranger they are beautiful and sip on wine from plastic cups. Because if you do it right you’ll look back and think to yourself “It just kept getting better.”

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Brand New Kind Of Free

I was 11 years old when Alicia Keys released her first album “Songs in A Minor”. A Womans Worth, Caged Bird, Fallin’ and Why Do I Feel So Sad were some of the first songs that truly spoke to me. A few years later I fell hard for When You Really Love Someone and Diary. Music was my outlet and she was my influence. Keys motivated me to find my self-worth, accept the love I deserve, and find strength at a young age. Her ability to express herself made me eager to learn how to do the same.

Recently she came out with an incredible song that helped me feel brave and empowered during a hard time in my life. I hope that you connect with the truth in this song like I have, and that one day you will find your new kind of “free”.

Enjoying the Tangible

[ now playing ‘momma’s music’ ]

Its pouring outside today & I can’t quite find the sun’s hiding spot in the sky. That’s okay, because I’ve decided to stop looking for what’s missing & begin enjoying the tangible. I love the rain because it forces me to seek the sunshine in my life. Cheers to you being one of the many beautiful rays that shine light in this life of mine! Wahoo! Thank you for being here. (if you care, I cheers’d with my cup of joe;)


Last night I went to sleep next to my love in our brand new bed (my sweet Andy truly spoils me) and I woke up to the best news ever! After 14 weeks of pushing myself harder than I ever have at school I finally have results: I received my first A on an article!!! Many may laugh at this because A’s might be your average — but an ‘A’ to me means I’m finally getting it. I am LEARNING! My professor doesn’t give A’s often, so I am absolutely ecstatic. This is what I woke up to at 5:45 a.m.  “Wake up! Smell the coffee! Enjoy the ‘A’ you got on your week 12 paper!!!!”

Last night I told Kelsey how frustrated I was with myself and my performance at school — I’d be lying if I said giving up never crossed my mind. This ‘A’ has given me the confidence to fight through the last part of finals, or as Professor LaPlante calls it, ‘The Crucible’.


Anyway, I just realized I need to stop blogging about it & be about it – I’ve got class in an hour!

To read my ‘A’ article go here 

All my love, Bee

Take Your Baby by the Hand

Yesterday I spent a couple hours in bed after work with some weird bug. Andy brought me Kneaders & I soon realized how much some solid food and rest can do for a girl (one of those “duh” moments). Shortly after I was up and at it around the house. The next 4 weeks will be a bit chaotic around here because it is the end of the semester. Having my home in a good state should contribute to the fight for sanity during finals.


I’d say I’m ‘trying to get my wardrobe organized‘… but lets be real, when am I not trying to get my wardrobe organized?? It’s a year round, never-ending thing. All of my girlfriends know what I’m talking about… They’ve all been over for bags of clothes that my ass outgrew or the 6 shirts I bought because ‘they match my shoes’  (that I don’t need & that look exactly alike). But sometimes you’re left with some gems & those clothes are just too pretty to keep hidden in the closet — which is why the clothes rack was invented. Mine is coming along and I am quite pleased with it. Someday when I’m not too ghetto to buy the wooden hangers I will. But that day is not today.

[ since those with droids have instagram now, add me! username: commanderinchic ]

I hit a wall at about 11:30 and that’s when I found Andy in the kitchen. He had been setting his computer up for work & finally got his speakers to work. Wang Chung was blasting & you could tell he was trying so hard not to break out in a full on dance (he was doing the slow & discreet foot shuffle while his arms swung back n’ forth a bit. hilarious)


Next thing you know we’re dancing in the kitchen to ‘Dance Hall Days’ while he twirls me around in my painting/cleaning clothes & sings along to every word. We almost made it through the whole song but our asses are out-of-SHAPE (& we both needed a drink)


We of course played Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd  & Can’t You See by the Marshall Tucker Band. I’m convinced these are the moments that true love is found, over & over again. Happy Friday sweets, I hope you take the time to dance with someone you love this weekend. Even if it’s just a bit of shufflin’ & swinging of the arms. It’ll feel good, I promise.