Made To Love

 

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Alright people I’m just going to make this simple. I love to love. I truly feel like I as an individual was made to love. Some have told me that’s not really a “thing” but I like to think otherwise. It is my strongest (and at times it has been my weakest) trait.

I always have and always will firmly believe that when in doubt you just have to add a little love to it. So I do. Every single day I make it a point to say “I love you” to someone in my life without even speaking those three words. With time I’ve learned that there are so many ways that you can say I love you, it just comes down to whether or not the receiving individual is able to hear it. 

So, lets take a break from that discussion so that I can make a quick point about today: It’s really kind of weird to me that people who are single get so down on themselves on Valentines day. Is the day not about love? Do you not have any in your life? If not, create it. Self-love, google it. Family and friends? Yah go squeeze the shit out of them, it feels really good I promise. Love is so much more than flowers, chocolate, and diamonds on a random day in February. Don’t dwell on the fact that it may be lacking. Just make it happen. You deserve it.

So, since today is “love-day” I vow to celebrate the ridiculous amount that I am blessed to have in my life. My family and friends make my world go ’round. And I’m going to do my very best to remind them of that.

So if and when you feel kind of bummed today do this: Slow down, take a big deep breath, focus on what you have and repeat after me: life is not about what I can get, it is about what I can give. 

And hopefully your heart will feel a little lighter, your world a bit brighter, and your soul will stir with ideas of how you can bring more love into the peoples lives around you. Which, in the most badass way ever, will bring more love into your life in return. How about that for a thought? It’s a win-win babe. I’m tellin’ ya. Love is kind of magical like that. So please, have a beautiful day, kick ass, hug lots of peeps alright?

All my love, cheesy thoughts (and 20-something thoughts) on love until next time,

XOXO, B

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If the girl had been worth having she’d have waited for you?’ No, sir, the girl really worth having won’t wait for anybody.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

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Getting Rid of Toxic People

“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance — you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” -Danielle Koepke

 

 

For Men Who’ve Never Held Your Feet

Every 6 months or so I go through the large wooden Olive and Cocoa box where I keep the little things that bring me joy. Birthday cards & “wish you were here’s“, gut-wrenchingly beautiful articles, old photos, worn ticket stubs, and quotes. With time these things begin to look scattered and lost — my pile of messy love. A tiny piece of my heart is in that box. And tonight was the night that I went through it, reflected, and organized the little notes and trinkets.

As I was doing this I found a quote folded up that I printed off at work. I did so because at the time there was a man in my life that treated me like a kitchen dish towel. It felt as though he had found me nicely folded, dunked me in hot dirty water, used me to clean the corners of his dusty and tattered heart, and then rung me out before he threw me aside to dry. Needless to say, there was some healing to do.

I’ve always loved the way words can handle my emotions that I often don’t know what to do with. This quote is long, but it is such a nice reminder of how far I have come. How much my heart has grown and how much strength I have found since this time of my life. It’s an incredible feeling to know that I’ve made the decision to never allow anyone to make me feel that small again.

So as I sit here on the floor of my cozy little apartment I am crossing my fingers. Hoping that at least one person can relate to this and then think “Wow, I am so much stronger now.” Anyway… I hope you enjoy it.

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“How far have you walked for men who’ve never held your feet in their laps?
How often have you bartered with bone, only to sell yourself short?
Why do you find the unavailable so alluring?
Where did it begin? What went wrong? And who made you feel so worthless?
If they wanted you, wouldn’t they have chosen you?
All this time, you were begging for love silently, thinking they couldn’t hear you, but they smelt it on you, you must have known that they could taste the desperate on your skin?
And what about the others that would do anything for you, why did you make them love you until you could not stand it?
How are you both of these women, both flighty and needful?
Where did you learn this, to want what does not want you?
Where did you learn this, to leave those that want to stay?” 
― Warsan Shire

Down to the Last Drop

I stopped wearing my favorite perfume after I left him. I found out it had been discontinued and my bottle was running low. I thought to myself “save it for something special”. I couldn’t figure out just what that was, but I didn’t want it to go to waste on any old day, and that’s exactly how everyday had began to feel.

Weeks later I was still waiting for that “something special”. My best friend grabbed my wrist in excitement after I spritzed myself before we went out to breakfast and said “is that my favorite stuff?” she turned away and said “oh no” and continued getting ready.

The thing I realized right then is that as silly as it sounds to be so attached to a scent it still feels like a part of me, a part of my past. And when it’s gone, it’s gone… but that’s okay, because I will still be here when the perfume runs out. And so will the memories.

So life goes on even after our favorite scent no longer exists. We can’t wait for something fabulous to do a key thing we used to do for ourselves everyday. That’s the funny thing about women sometimes… We think we should sit and wait for the bus when really we need to slip on our comfiest flats and run after it before it drives away from us. Life’s too short to sit around waiting, smelling, and feeling like anything but ourselves. So I am done waiting for unmade plans, and I’m finally ready to use every last drop.

Happily Ever After

This is one of the best things I’ve seen in a while. Being independent is a beautiful thing because you can “do you”, love others, and kick ass at the same time. I have spent too much time & energy taking care of everyone but myself for the last little while and it stops today. With that said, you can make your own damn sandwich… I’ve got adventures to go on.

Reconstructing: Part 1

After a while she began to think. Maybe she was a defensive woman. Maybe, just maybe, she had let all the pain in the past create a difficult wall. Perhaps the wall was more difficult to climb for those that loved her after all, and maybe it was time to tear it down and begin designing a new one. She realized maybe she didn’t have to act so hard and have so many rose bushes in front of the wall she built. It could be a simple brick wall that she could rely on, but that wasn’t quite as tall and treacherous as the first. If she did it different this time around she could create a wall that made sure every time she fell on her ass the rest of her world didn’t have to come along with her. And then it hit her like the bag of bricks she needed anyway — it was time to simplify.