I found myself scribbling helpful tips all over what used to be my office, but is now his. I wanted him to have a space to create, a place to dream like I once had. I jotted down silly things like little secrets about the house that he may not know.. like how to get the bedroom window open just right so it didn’t get too cold. I left him one of two matching chairs we always planned to sit in, and the key on the table we got together.
I felt hot tears skip off my concealer I only use when I have a cold. The heat was pounding on every inch of my body — the sun had lost all empathy. I felt numb, and I began to worry that maybe, just maybe…. So had I.
Suddenly my girlfriend honked the horn and yelled “Bailey! Lets go!” It was louder than I remember it being. And I couldn’t even believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. Here I was again, packing up my wee car & leaving a dream I once dreamt.
I hopped in the car and said thank you to the best of my sniffling-ability to my girlfriend who had offered to drive home (& also ended up helping me pack my belongings) We got gas and I didn’t dare take my glasses off when I paid for it.
As we drove away in the sunset I strapped the most fabulous headwrap I owned around my messy hair, smeared on my most sassy lipstick and kissed my window. I had to at least try to be okay for the ride home. Kerry taught me that day that driving while crying can be dangerous — I was so thankful for her support.
When I got home I went straight to the shower. I stared at myself in the mirror — I looked like hell. My mascara ran a big deep black line from here to Arkansas bleeding from both eyes. I was scared. I was exhausted. And hungry, too, god damnit. But I could not be in denial any longer, it would only make things harder. I wiped the old makeup from my left eye and accepted the fact that I had officially announced war against heartbreak. And I didn’t have a clue what to do next.
I have been missing my girlfriends, mum & co-workers a lot lately. My heart aches when I don’t get to see the gems in my life. So I packed the car up & Roman & I made our way to SLC for a few days. I feel like I am on vacation — yet I’m sitting here enjoying a cup of joe at my old desk.
I know I say it a lot, and to some it may be too much, but the blessings in my life never cease to amaze me. All I can say is I genuinely wish I could make sure everyone felt the same about their life. But sometimes, it’s just not that easy.
I believe in treating all creatures of the earth kindly and making sure our actions, as humans, are made with love and respect. Aka take care of our planet because it takes care of us! It is incredibly beautiful — lets try & keep it that way!
Some of my favorite quotes about our beautiful planet:
To see a world in a grain of sand, And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour. -William Blake
There is a pleasure in the pathless woods, There is a rapture on the lonely shore, There is society, where none intrudes, By the deep sea, and music in its roar: I love not man the less, but Nature more. -George Gordon, Lord Byron’
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet, and the winds long to play with your hair. -Kahlil Gibran
Only when the last tree has died, the last river been poisoned, and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money. -Cree Proverb
The creatures that inhabit this earth–be they human beings or animals–are here to contribute, each in its own particular way, to the beauty and prosperity of the world. ―Dalai Lama XIV
Here are some photos of our home & the creatures we share it with — there is also a cool video at the end. I hope these take your breath away like they do mine. And yes, I really did try & keep the number of photos to a minimum — I did a really good job, as you can see… As always ;)
Happy Earth Day!! Plant a tree, or at least say thank you to one ;)
Ali Carney, if you're reading this, this ones for you:) I will always think of you when I see jellyfish. You are just as outstanding, my sweets.
Glowing wild mushrooms
This tiny gem-like object is an actual living creature called a Blue Dragon Nudibranch, a kind of sea slug.
Animals of the sea smooching animals of dry-land. Pretty cool... Imagine if humans treated one another with unified love such as this?
I always find such sites reassuring -- mother nature is still more powerful than we are!
”I was afraid of wanting anything. I figured wanting would lead to trying and trying would lead to failure. But now I find I can’t stop wanting. I want to fly somewhere in first class. I want to travel to Europe on a business trip. I want to get invited to the White House. I want to learn about the world. I want to surprise myself. I want to be important. I want to be the best person I can be. I want to define myself instead of having others define me. I want to win and have people be happy for me. I want to lose and get over it. I want to not be afraid of the unknown. I want to grow up to be generous and big hearted, the way that people have been with me. I want an interesting and surprising life. It’s not that I think I’m gonna get all these things. I just want the possibility of getting them…” -Tyra From Friday Night Lights
Home from SLC just in time for a quick post before I run to the first of two workshops I’m writing about. Deadline is this evening and I feel like a headstand & typing with my toes would provide a more impressive article (considering my current brain power, or lack thereof)
Signs of deadline-fatigue are always a little bit weird.. No further explanation. I promise to be better about writing after things calm down.
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.” -Charles Bukowski
It’s a blizzard outside but this video makes it feel like spring on the inside.
One of our favorite things to do is talk about all the places we want to go together. When I saw photos of the Amangiri Resort I did some research, and to my surprise it’s in Canyon Point, Utah. Canyon Point is only about an eight hour drive from us, so this will have to be something we can add to our wish list. Utah is incredible. We get the best of both worlds & I am so grateful that we live in such a beautiful place. For a video tour of the resort go here
What are some of your favorite luxury get-aways that you’re planning or have already gone on?