I was first introduced to mala beads by my mother and two of her best friends, Brenna and Carolyn, when I was around 8 years old. I have always been a worrier so when I discovered my personal calm with a pair of mala beads my mother kept in our home I vowed to keep that practice in my life for the years to come.

Eventually I had my own beads and I wore them daily. To me mala beads represent creation, intention, prayer and an inner peace. In school I would slowly slide one bead at a time to the opposite end of the strand with my thumb and index finger to find my focus. It was amazing to me that something so simple brought so much peace into my life.

In 2012 I spent 8 days in the hospital. Shortly after I returned to my home my aunt Brenna and her two beautiful sons, Makana and Denali, traveled from Colorado to visit. During their stay we spent plenty of time gardening and discussing different ways of coping with love, loss, and rising above our circumstances.

The day before they left Salt lake we took a last minute trip to Dancing Cranes. Brenna ended up finding a strand of beautiful mala beads made of Lotus seeds. She explained to me that the Lotus seed symbolizes spiritual knowledge and power. And how just like many of us it must rise above its environment in order to properly bloom.

The lotus grows out of muddy waters and eventually unfolds into a gorgeous flower. When rain pours down onto a lotus flower it does not stick and weigh the petals down, instead the rain simply falls back into the water below.

She put the beads around my wrist and told me that at that time of my life I needed to remember that I too had the ability to grow deep roots to withstand the challenges life presents. And that with time, I shall bloom as well. It has been one year since I started my personal journey through my own “muddy waters” and I am thankful to say that with the love, guidance, and strength from those around me I have found it within to bloom where I have been planted. I treasure the gift that was given to me because it is much more than a pair of beads.

I continue to learn about myself throughout my spiritual practice, and I make daily devotions to send love and light to the people around me. There is no doubt in my mind that the power of thought can help us overcome anything in our lives as long as we genuinely want to see a change. And that to me is one of the most profound things about this life that we live.

Until next time, Bee


Sleepy Head + a Clear Mind

I love, love, love Dalai Lama. He is the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet & a truly incredible man whose wisdom has guided me back to the right track many times in my life. This whole back & forth situation is really taking a toll on my emotional well-being, so I’m trying to fill myself up with his beautiful lessons. I went to bed at 10:30 last night, but somehow I’m still tired & suffering from sudden short-term memory loss. Think of a cranky 3-year-old in an already-sassy 20 something’s body. Not cool, yo. Not cool at all..


You know, this little quote is about all I need right now. Oh, that’s a lie. I could really go for a fried PB&J (nom, nom, nom) All my sleepy headed-ness & ready-to-be-clear-mind, Bee


For more of Dalai Lama’s teachings go to his official site by clicking here 


”It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here right now…with its aches and its pleasures…is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.”

Pema Chodron

You will never be younger then you are in this very moment, this very second in time. I complain so much. More then I should. My knee’s ache, my ankles throb, and my hips pop. But I should stop. My body has given me more then I can ask for.

I want to stop bitching about my smalls boobs, legs made for a fighter, arms that can’t lift much, and hips wide enough to prop a baby on them for hours. I hope to work on dismissing my insecurities. My ass does not and cannot be perfectly perky and cellulite free. My face can not be flawless at all times. Maybe I am not exactly what I want to be, but I am exactly what I am ment to be. The love I have for my body begins now. The love I have for my body is unbreakable. I hope that yours is, too.


My new buddha & cheetah cup! I am so excited to put them in my new house. I’ve always wanted a buddha that’s bigger then the ones I have. Sorry the quality of the pictures are bad, my phone doesn’t have the best camera. Elana sent me a text and asked how organizing/packing my clothes was going… I told her about my trip to T.JMaxx and she said, ‘Let me get this straight… You stopped at tj’s to get more of what you’re trying to get rid of?… Sounds like a girl after my own heart!’ I guess that says it all, right? I did come straight home after and get to cleaning/packing and I got a tone done, so I feel like it’s justified.



AAA and Church

Today was my first time attending the Buddhist Temple. Meditation began at 9, so I had to be at Maria’s by 8:30 at the latest. I was so proud of myself because I woke up on time and was walking out the door at 8:18 when I realized I was forgetting one thing –  my car keys. So I’m like okay that’s fine… It’s all good. I started to empty my bag, they were no where to be found. Looked all over my room – Still couldn’t find them. And they weren’t where we usually hang the car keys. This is when I started to get a little stressed out. In desperation I went out and looked to see if they happened to be in my car. I looked in and what do ya know, there they are sitting in the drivers seat. I threw my hands up in the air and said, “Oh that is just fan-fuckin-tastic!!!”. It was a really nice way to start my Sunday morning. My Uncle said I could take Aunt Cares car thank god. I hopped in that and off to church I went, flustered and late and not surprised at all. Sometimes I’m such a mess. Pretty typical.

Church was amazing though and I can’t wait to go again. They practice Jodo Shinshu Buddhism and it is so interesting. They teach you be awakened to the compassion of Amida Buddha and rejoicing in the assurance of Buddahood. They say, “We shall endeavor to live a life of gratitude and compassionate activity.” Everyone there is so kind. Being there opened my eyes… I am going to focus on living with more gratitude from now on. As much as I think I already do there is still so much room for improvement. So that is something I’ll be working on…

Anyway, I need to go keep my eye out for the AAA man. I love you dolls. Ciao

Previous Post

In Hinduism, sadhu, or shadhu is a common term for a mystic, an ascetic, practitioner of yoga (yogi) and/or wandering monks. The sadhu is solely dedicated to achieving the fourth and final Hindu goal of life, moksha (liberation), through meditation and contemplation of Brahman. Sadhus often wear ochre-colored clothing, symbolizing renunciation.

Absolutely phenomenal… The life of a Sadhu takes my breath away. Namaste…