Oversharing and Living in The Now

In the last year I’ve noticed an unhealthy pattern with social media: it sends a message that we’re never good enough, that there is always something or someone doing it bigger and better out there. Because of this we often put up a front instead of showing who we really are. Some do it out of fear, insecurity, uncertainty, or to try and avoid “social rejection”. Others do it because they thrive off of attention, they need to feel validated in everything that they’re doing and they want to show that they are “winning” in this game of life. Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter each have their own influence.

So much time is wasted on these things that can never bring us genuine comfort, happiness, love, or the healthy social interaction we need as humans. And we tend to spiral into a negative head game with ourselves by comparing our lives to others, usually complete strangers, who manage to portray the “perfect life” (that does not exist) by posting photos and videos online. This is so. damn. unhealthy. And honestly, it’s kind of scary. We make up a romantic illusion of what our lives look like, when really things are far from what your feed reflects.

I’ll be the first to admit that I regularly have unhealthy thoughts about my reality and the life I show online. I’ll think “I should take a photo of these weights to prove how healthy I am, to show that I’m dedicated to my fitness.” or “This dinner was delicious and it happens to be pretty, I should snap a photo and upload it to show off my love for time in the kitchen.” or the best one, “I look good today. I should post a #selfie and then put a quote as the caption that has nothing to do with my face. It will distract others from the fact that I’m trying to bring attention to myself” And before I know it I’ve wasted time at the gym, my food is cold, or I’m being rude to those around me by giving all of my energy & attention to an insignificant little app that will not ever truly measure the “good” in who I am or add value to my life. It’s all really unfortunate.

How can we be our authentic selves & truly enjoy this beautiful opportunity to create a life we love when we’re so caught up in this rat race? When we’re constantly missing the miracles in life because our heads are down & we’re living through others? Yes, I am guilty of being sucked into social media & societies expectations. I have been doing it all for years now, including this little blog of mine. For a long time these things were positive outlets. I posted uplifting thoughts, photos of nature, and things that simply made me happy. But it has grown into such an unhealthy daily game of comparison that I’ve decided to step away for a while. No more Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram for me. I need to take a breather from all the bullshit. I desperately need some authenticity in my life. And I need to really think about what I want my message to the world to be.

“Your life is your message to the world. Make it inspiring.”

― Lorrin L. Lee

We should be doing things because they make us & the people we love happy. Our actions, words, and goals should be said, and done, for personal fulfillment, not for ego boosts & validation from strangers who will never truly get to know who we really are. Photos aren’t taken to get as many “likes” & “comments”, they are taken to capture moments that take our breath away, moments that we want to be able to look back on & reflect as individuals. Not to edit the shit out of them, throw on a tacky font with a word like “Yum!” or “Joy!” & post online. Give me a break.

It is time to get real with ourselves. To embrace the fact that life is messy sometimes & we don’t have to share every little thing we do. Sometimes it’s about the quiet moments we have with ourselves. And sometimes it’s about deep, intimate, raw discussions that we have when we are connected with somebody else… Looking straight in the other persons eyes, not into a screen.

Humans tend to be so self involved. We forget that there is an entire world out there filled with so many other beautiful, intelligent, incredible beings. They don’t have iPhones but they do have hearts bigger than their bodies give them credit for and dreams far too large to document in one photo. When are we going to begin celebrating that about people? The quality of their character, their dreams & accomplishments, and their zest for life & making it better for others. That is what matters. Not your “Man crush Monday” “Throwback Thursday” or “Flashback Friday” posts that are repetitive & mean nothing. Go do something. Go be something. Make someones day & resist the urge to tell everyone & their dog about it. Stop posting about it & simply be about it. I promise you it will feel good. It’s time to break the habit of over-sharing and begin living in the now.

I hope that this break will help bring clarity into my life and allow me to step back, breathe, and truly be here.

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Sevenly

Working hard for your money can be extremely rewarding; for me, this is the case when I put my hard earned funds towards positive things. I believe one thing that can be very fulfilling is giving back, especially to those less fortunate. Someday, I plan to give more then just my time to the community & eventually, our world. I hope those reading this know I am saying this with a big heart & heavy dreams. As a college student I can’t always give material resources or funds but what I can give is my time. I also choose to lend my voice to great organizations in high hopes that I can help spread a good thing. I am genuine about helping others & eager to do my part.

After doing some research I discovered Sevenly: a fantastic and organic funding movement to raise capital and awareness for the world’s greatest causes.

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So, there are six days left to reach their goals for this weeks cause: fighting hunger in Haiti.  (click text to be linked to this weeks video)

Lets help them raise $7,000 for Haiti’s people who are suffering & in need of real support.

So I am reaching out to you to get some help — can you take the 30 seconds to click “share” and make a social donation?

They need 4,361 Facebook shares & 193 shares on Twitter. If all of us at Commander in Chic work together we can easily help them get closer to reaching these goals. Are you with me?

Ready, set, CONTRIBUTE! 

  • “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” -Dr. Seuss
  • “I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” –Edward Everett Hale


Digging in deep

Today I made a big mistake by not paying enough attention to detail. This particular habit always seems to bite me in the butt… I guess some foibles are more difficult to rid than others. For finals we have five articles due, one every night this week. I misunderstood & I shouldn’t have — it is all laid out on our class page & my professor told us plenty of times.

My professor asks us on an individual level how our articles are coming along each week. He’s brilliant, and he cares, which makes him one of the best teachers I have ever had. When he asked how mine were coming along I told him I had three stories with sources & had to do the interviews this week. When he look more concerned than usual I knew I made a mistake.

I thought all 5 were due on Friday — and I was wrong. There is one article due every night this week. My face started to burn.

It slipped. I said fuck. In front of everyone in class. Now I’m the girl in Logan with a bad mouth who can’t get her articles finished on time, FABULOUS! That’s just fan-fuckin-tastic. Yes, sorry, I said it once so I said it again because I needed to let it out.

Those that don’t approve of that word are likely back to stalking their ex on Facebook. (Then again, those that are/would be judging me probably left a long time ago) ANYWAY…

I hurried and got online to do some research. I found a lead & started to write.

My professor approved it & I went straight to do an interview after a couple of phone calls.

When I got there nobody really knew what I was talking about — and the one person that they said ‘probably did’, had just left.

Oye… too little too late.

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Long story not short at all (are you seeing a trend here?…ya, me too), I ended up buying a new pot & some soil for a plant in-need waiting at home because it was convenient; My interview was at a garden shop that was, by the way, amaze-balls. My money-tree has been dying (no pun intended) to be re-potted for weeks. I’m a bad plant mommy. BUT I finally remembered to grab what I needed to give him a happy home.

I love crystals. I use them when I meditate and I studied doing chakra work with them last summer. But my passion for crystals began when I was younger, specifically with the amethyst in the far right of the photo. It’s late now & I need to get some rest, but I promise to tell you that story soon. It’s beautiful, and I learned a lesson I still live by today.

I mostly hope my baby tree loves his new home and that he is much happier now. I know it’s lame, but I believe if you give a plant the right kind of love it will love you right back. Dig deep often & give all living things a beautiful space to grow & your life might feel a little lighter.

Although I have let myself down at school this week, I am still glad I got busy with my plans instead of sulking. I’ve never understood why gardening is so theraputic until now… Sometimes when you’re feeling down, you should do just that: get on your knee’s, plunge those hard-working hands into the dirt and pull. Create. Plant. Give life by placing a tiny seed. I can’t promise anything, but I think you might feel better.


Kissing Strangers

Happy Sunday my sweets! I am spending my time wisely today by checking things off of all my lifesaving-lists. One of my to-do’s this morning was ‘make sun tea’ :)

Even though I haven’t been writing new posts I’m still trying keep things interesting around here. I mean, we’ve been together for over a year… I can’t just blow you off like that, you know? I’ve been posting different things that I find inspiring, helpful, or just share-worthy on Commander In Chic’s FaceBook page. I also tweet regularly & you know I am always on top of my Instagram game. So pop on over and join the mid-study celebrations my friend!

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Today I shared a delicious recipe for: balsamic grilled summer vegetables with basil and quionoa salad. Ew. Did you just drool on your yourself/laptop?… Sicko. (I did too)

There are also directions for cleaning your nasty ass washing machine — I did it today & could not be happier or more weirdly-excited to bust out my laundry. Trust me on this one, detailing washing machines is easier than it sounds (and yes, it’s a real thing, to all the smartasses reading this laughing at my laundrycitement ;)

I’ll begin replying to your kind words this evening!! This is my favorite part because if I wanted to talk to myself I would……. And well, sometimes I do. But you’re much more fun anyway. Our discussions are important to me, which is why I believe in setting aside some time to maintain them. As you know, hearing from you is one of the most rewarding things to me. Let it out babydoll!

Anywho, it’s game time and my Giants are about to show ya how it’s done. Tune in folks… Oh, and I will also be mourning Brian Wilson’s injury/season-destroyer. Whether it’s in action or not, I still fear the beard/have dreams about it that we don’t talk about on here. Smooching and missing the hell out of you! Even if we don’t even ‘know each other’………… at all. :)

xoxo, Bee

Being picky about what I put into my mind

I have decided to commit to listening to an inspirational speech/video each day for the rest of this month. I will do this instead of pinning workouts that I’ll never do & pictures of beautiful babies that I won’t have for 5+ years on Pinterest. Same goes for mindless Facebook wandering & reading tweets where crazy girls like this one share uncouth tweets. Yes, most of us enjoy indulging in a little social media but if we learn to be more selective about what our brains take in on a daily basis we can begin to truly grow. Those things do not get me anywhere, motivational speeches giving me the tools I need to be successful can.

This afternoon I listened to 50 Things I Will Do Today. There are plenty more options among the one I chose at Learn Out Loud, so head on over & listen while you enjoy lunch on your patio with a green smoothie or iced tea (assuming it’s as beautiful outside where you are as it is where I am)

#22 taught me this…

Buddha comes from the word Budh, which means one who is awake to reality. Become awake. Become aware. Live in the now.

We’ll talk more later this evening (if my midterm project & article don’t throw me over the deep end before then) because I have some good news to share with you! All my love, Bee

“Littles can make a big difference.”

Around 4 years ago I slept downtown, barefoot, with some of my close friends to take a stand for the invisible children. Although that was years ago, I now see that acts similar to the one I took are simply not enough. 12 days ago Janeth, an amazing girl I have met through this blog, sent me this video. A TEDxTeen talk by Natalie Warne, a young woman who has been making a significant difference, a difference far beyond sleeping downtown to be heard.

And then Jani wrote this post.

Yesterday a great friend of mine, Zack, shared a video that has started an uproar all across the U.S via blogs, Facebook, Twitter, & other social networks. It is called KONY 2012 (go here to watch it) It is a “Film and campaign by Invisible Children that aims to make Joseph Kony famous, not to celebrate him, but to raise support for his arrest and set a precedent for international justice.” 

The reality of what has been going on for over 20 years because of  Joseph Kony’s addiction to power is frightening. He is the head of the Lord’s Resistance Army and abducts, rapes, and kills children for no reason at all. Many people have been asking why we care about stopping Joseph Kony. Why aren’t we focusing on our own problems? Well, because that is not how history is made. Helping causes that only effect your life in Small Lake City, Utah is not how thousands of children’s lives are saved.

I ask you to take 30 minutes that you usually spend blogging, browsing Facebook, and thinking of clever tweets and set it aside for learning about the invisible children & what we can do to help. I understand it can be difficult to believe that you as an individual can make a difference, but when that feeling emerges, look to the heroes & she-roes of our world and remember this: they did it & so can you.

Make this man be held accountable. Reblog, like, share, and use your voice! Don’t let him slip between the cracks & get away with spreading evil among thousands of innocent children.


The Results Of Letting Go

Push play if your heart desires…

The re-occuring pure joy from having a Valentine that I swear is made of pure love.

(and finding out he is getting me a KITTEN!!)

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Highlights of yesterday:

Having my best friend sugarbum as my Valentine (you can gag now)

Laughing the whole way there

A divine dinner at Carvers with Chan & Katie

Snuggling with my king in a king sized bed

Finding out my dream that many people don’t really understand is coming true — I’m getting a kitty!!

Highlights of today:

That sugarbum of mine

Giving my momma the biggest squeeze in the world

…Crying while I gave her that squeeze

A Frozen Koffee Kooler from BadAss Coffee (my favorite coffee shop in SLC)

Dancing/singing with Andy the entire way home

School. Yup, I love it. Oh & I can’t forget that bit of blue..

Visiting Bessie, Esther, & the new BABIES! + a bunny  (twice)

What's happenin' girls?

& ending it with this gift that didn’t cost a dime

All I can say is the love in this world is determined to make all things beautiful — I’m sure of it.

XOXO