It’s official, I’m homesick.
I thought that between school, work, and writing on my blog I wouldn’t get lonely… But I was wrong. Those things are not helping me avoid feeling lonely, they are overwhelming me and stressin’ a bitch out ok!
I was so excited to have our own place but Andy works all the time & it is so hard on me. We work opposite schedules & he comes home when I should be sleeping. Staying up late to spend 2 hours with him & having to wake up 4 hours later for work is a vicious cycle.
I love cooking big yummy dinners, watching football, and having a clean house – but not by myself all the time. What is the point of having everything you want when you don’t have anybody to really share it with? My family & friends are all in Salt Lake. They have been so supportive & have all spent hours on the phone with me, but it’s not the same. I miss my girls, my momma, my grandma, and my aunties. I wish I could have a day of hairapy with Kerry, a play date with Kelsey & Lincoln, and a wine & movie night with Lex. My license is being suspended for a 5 over ticket/too many points. That starts in 3 days & will be suspended for a month. Dear police officer, I don’t go anywhere but school & the grocery store please just leave me alone.
Today is Superbowl Sunday & I have spent it with family & friends since I was wee. But today is different. I slept in, woke up alone, and I am definitely still in my pajamas because I’ve been watching ‘Jerseylicious’ – What is my life coming to?! I feel ridiculous. I have wanted to see the movie ‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ so I looked up movie times to go see it today. Whoops, Logan doesn’t have it in theaters yet. Christ almighty I’m out of beer, good food, wine, garbage bags, and I am LONELY. This is not my cup of tea, and I have no idea what to do with myself. Feeling sorry for myself isn’t helping, I realize this, but jesus… I’m losing my sanity.
Oh and this dumb ass fish does nothing but shit in his tank and spazz out whenever I walk past his bowl. I AM NOT ENTERTAINED.
Pinterest, facebook, blogging, IG, tumblr, shoving candy in my mouth as fast as possible, playing dress up by myself like I’m 5, homework, and cleaning my house/fish bowl = Things that make me want to stick burning needles in my eyeballs because that’s all I do anymore.
So does anyone have any tips as to what I am supposed to do on days like this? I should be writing my interview questions because it is due tomorrow but I think I’ll just procrastinate like a normal college student.
Help a sista out here. Ps. I do not want to ‘go for a run’ – It smells like cow shit outside & I am bloated like a whale. I know, I just bitched for an entire blog post. No inspiration, no smiles, no jumping on the bed, nada. I am not handling this well. If you read this, well, bless your heart. Serious.
Love, the girl who has always said only boring people get bored.