The things I encourage you to do: #1

Smoke expensive cigars and invite Dean Martin to keep you company. Learn to salsa. Mambo all night. Walk barefoot to feel grounded and swim to places you’ll never completely touch. Call the family members that made distance taste so bitter for so long. Allow yourself to be sweet. Kiss the rugged man whose love is unavailable but has a smile that leaves a mark.

Jump in your car and drive to a handful of strangers for a weekend of adventure. Let your feet hang off the boat at midnight and howl at the full moon without feeling silly. Curl up in bed with your journal and tell your secrets, find comfort in them being safe there. Wear high heels and dance until your feet burn. Take the long way home from work, roll all the windows down, and blast your favorite song. Make mad passionate love, and do it often. Order an extra glass of pinot and have that last piece of cheese (you know you want it)

Eat tomatoes right off the plant and don’t take note of the small dirty spot. Slip into your favorite Summer dress and wear that lipstick you love just because. Take hikes on your own and marvel at mother natures gifts. Splurge on over-priced “organic” sandwiches and pellegrino every once in a while. And do all of this without having to give anyone in the world a single explanation.

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Kelsey and I hiked to this perfect little spot where you can swim and explore in 2009. She was 5 months pregnant with Lincoln at the time. Today we decided to head to the same spot but this time Lincoln was able to climb the rocks and experience it with us. There is something about watching a child observe new surroundings that tugs at my heart. Curiosity is a beautiful thing and Lincoln is full of it.

We got there later than expected so the sun wasn’t shining on us. The water was absolutely freezing! When Lincoln eagerly followed us in without any hesitation I couldn’t have been more proud. It was the perfect end to the day. I am definitely going to sleep with a happy heart tonight.

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The Art of Opening Up

I enjoy spending time with myself. So on Sunday I headed to one of my favorite places to get a clear head: the mountains. Utah is truly beautiful, I’m blessed to call this state home.

Utah Hike
I sit before flowers hoping they will train me in the art of opening up. I stand on mountain tops believing that avalanches will teach me to let go. I know nothing. But I am here to learn.” -Shane Koyczan

It was different enjoying the treasures mother nature treats us to on my own. My pace was slower, I inhaled the fresh air with gratitude, and I discovered things I’d normally walk past.

My thoughts wandered and at one point I was convinced I had drifted from the trail I intended to follow. Then I started feeling all sorts of freaked out because of rattlesnakes (I was going through “Rattlesnake Gulch”)

My heart began to race and I had to stop, sit down, and chill out. I also needed to use my inhaler but that’s irrelevant. Suddenly a calm came over me and I knew I was going the right way. It reminded me how much self-doubt can consume us if we are not careful.

Here is a video from the top of the trail. There wasn’t anyone else up there so I sat and enjoyed my sandwich and quality time with the birds n’ bugs. This quick video does not do the beauty of where I was justice but I’ll share it anyway.

Sundays are the perfect day to fill your heart with the best things in life that we tend to overlook in our busy lives. What are your plans for the weekend? I’d love to hear what you do to clear your thoughts and get ready for a new week.

xoxo, Bailey Mikell

 

Breathe, Sing, & Leave Your Granny Panties At Home

You know you’ve had a kick-ass month when: You feel like you could possibly go into cardiac arrest halfway through your routine workout and your throat burns as if a doctor has been shoving a q-tip down your throat to test for strep for 20 minutes.

July was full of so many good things that I unintentionally neglected my blog… But I’m back! And I’m sure once I’m into my day to day schedule again I’ll make up for my lack of posts when one of my infamous late night writing sprees sneaks up on me. By the way, I apologize to my subscribers for those little treats. If my phone started blowing up in the wee hours of the morning because of notification emails from a blog I follow I’d probably post an anonymous comment saying, ‘Bitch, go to sleep.‘ I’m not encouraging any of you to do that to me… However, I am promising to work on it.

A few things happened…

1.

Talya Belle turned 5!


I’m not sure I will love any kids as much as I love Talya and Zeb until I have my very own. I feel so lucky to have been part of Talya Belles life since day one. Often people underestimate the power of children and the things they can teach you, but I learn from Talya every single day. She has taught me to be patient when life tests me, to accept all walks of life no matter how foreign they may seem, to try everything once even if you’re not sure if you’ll like it, and that Dr. Seuss truly never gets old. I love you sweetheart, you will always be my sunshine.

2.

I started my new job.

I have worked for the American Academy on and off since the company first started. Right now I’m recruiting students who have dropped out of high school. We work with different districts all over the country and help them get the students who have dropped out of school back on track to receive their diploma. Some districts are in areas where poverty is very high. It’s not rare for the kids to stop going to school in 8th grade, and support from family tends to be limited. I enrolled a boy yesterday who has been on his own since he was fourteen years old. When I asked for his parents contact information he got really quiet and said, “I’m not close with my parents.” That was all he needed to say, I could feel his pain over the phone. But despite his sudden drop in enthusiasm regarding his parents he spoke with courage and ambition as we continued to discuss the step he was about to take in order to graduate high school. After I hung up the phone I sat there and reflected on my discussion with him. The amount of respect for him & everyone else who is able to subdue any disbelief others have when it comes to their personal success is huge. There will always be someone who wants you to believe you can’t but in the end you make that decision. I hope that I am able to keep in touch with this student and watch him achieve his goals and prove it to not only others but himself that he is capable of anything he want’s to do. It is really rewarding when I am able to be a part of that. Waking up every morning with confidence that if I work hard enough I can make a difference in at least one persons life is a hard feeling to explain. A little bit of bliss from my new 9-5… I am so lucky.

Other news:

Dyan finished nursing school! I am so proud of her and admire her for deciding that being a nurse is what she wanted and then just doin’ the damn thing. Cheers aunt Dy!!

 Gregg & Leann finished a triathlon in Idaho last weekend. Gregg is always working (oh, & being a husband, dad, and kickass uncle) so I’m not quite sure how he trains for these things on top of it all. Either way, he does, and I think it’s awesome.  They both did a fabulous job.

Terrible decision # 1: I wore granny panties on a hike. Nope… Never again. It was so hot and I was just blatantly picking a wedgie the whole way up. I don’t even care. I’m not going to hike uncomfortably for the sake of some random hiker. Shit happens right? Needless to say, I would not recommend wearing granny panties on a hike to any of you.

Andy and I went camping with some friends at Joes Vally reservoir over the 24th. I had the time of my life and got to know some really amazing people. Our camping spot was right next to a gorgeous lake. Waking up and opening my tent to that took my breathe away. It was so nice getting out of the buzz in the city. It was a much needed get away.

My pixie hair cut grew into a mullet (that was neat) and then my mullet transformed into a nub. I’m not ashamed to admit that it was one of the most exciting moments in my life… Yup, that’s how bad I hated the life of having a she-mullet. I’m no longer a little boy and it feels soo good:)

I said 또봐요 (that’s what goodbye means in Korean) to one of my best friends Jon Moon. He left for the MTC to prepare for his mission in Seoul, Korea. I coudn’t be more proud of him (or more concerned about what life will be like without him for 2 years). But I know he will be a brilliant missionary, and I can hardly wait to write him. “Dear Jon….” I love you!!

Came to the conclusion that having a nice ass is better then being a size 0.

Bought Beyonces CD ‘4’ and haven’t taken it out since. I like to pretend I’m her when I’m in my car, very normal. If you’re judging then you ain’t living. Because in my opinion, singing your heart out and dancing in your car is a tiny part of truly living. Whenever I see someone doing that I just want to say, ‘Get it girl!’

I learned to golf in June and went to my first pga tournament in July. Andy and the boys had VIP passes so we all went. I wasn’t sure I was going to enjoy myself, and if I was going to, it was not going to be sober. But I had such a good time and met a lot of really interesting people. It was a whole new experience for me and I can’t wait to go back next year.

 I stopped making excuses and applied to USU. Logan bound… Nuff’ (said for now). Ciao SLC

Fell in love with fried pickles

My mum and Andy met. I love them both. That’s all:)

Anyway, I have truly been given a beautiful month and am eager to see what August has in store. Life is proving to me that if I stay positive instead of stressing out all the time things will work out on their own. Instead of saying ‘No’ I’ve decided to say, ‘Why not?’.  With that outlook new opportunities, experiences, and memories have been given to me & I couldn’t be happier. I hope all of you had an amazing month as well and that you’re pushing your own fears out the door and welcoming new things with confidence that everything will be perfect. Just breathe, sing, & leave your granny panties at home. XOXO

Ps. Happy Birthday Barack Obama!

Mother Nature & A Pen

I’m the kind of tired that’s ready to sink into the bed before the sun sets. Gregg, Care, and the babes are finally home & I’m so happy. Things started to get lonely around the house, I’m not trying to disregard Winston & Bliss’s lovely company but humans are always nice.

Today I bought a beautiful journal that was handmade in India..

…Aaaand I’m so excited. I can’t remember the last time I had a journal I wrote in regularly. We’ve turned to blackberries & laptops and pushed the pen & paper aside but there is something that makes writing in a journal so real, so romantic. I’ve found joy in pressing my favorite pen onto a clean page and letting every thought evolve into something real, something more then just a emotion, for years now. These keys on this, or any, laptop will never replace the comfort of an open notebook. Once I bought it I came straight home to get in my hiking clothes. I threw my water bottle, my two favorite pens, and my journal into my backpack and was off. I didn’t have enough time to get to my favorite spot today so I found a rock a bit smaller then my left buttcheek to sit on while I made my first journal entry. It was amazing. When I’m in the mountains I feel free and to write while in that state of mind is indescribable. Anyway, after that I took the kids on a little hike up to the lime kiln, so we spent a lot of time outside today. I don’t have much to say, I’m struggling to keep my eyeballs open so that’s a pretty good sign that it’s time for bed. Oh, and Taylor Swift just came on my pandora station… I’m a little pissed. Sweet sleeps my loves, have beautiful dreams & wake up prepared to turn them into your reality. Namaste… Bee

Dragonflies were everywhere… :)

Beauty and The Dirt

I went on a hike by myself today & it was so good. I walked out of the house in my underarmour pants, tennis shoes, and a hoodie ready to explore. Lately I’m a freak about how I look before I go out which isn’t like me at all. This is because I’m growing my hair out and it’s a really painful process. I worry about looking like a boy because I have a she-mullet kind of thing going on. So I’m usually rocking a turban/hat unless I feel like I have the she-mullet under control (which doesn’t happen too often). Anyway, I didn’t wear a stitch of makeup and I let my hair do it’s troll-y thang. And guess what? I felt just fine. So that was nice because being insecure is a gross feeling and we don’t need that now do we.

For some reason I woke up in a very care-free mood this morning… So when I realized how muddy it was on the path I took I didn’t really trip. Usually I would though because my shoes are white… You get the point, you’re not a dumbass. I don’t think. Anyway, I just walked along the muddy little path breathing heavily like an overweight german man that smokes cigs on the reg. So glad I quite smoking –  I am SO out of shape, jesus lord. I wasn’t quite sure where I was going but I knew it was going to be good. There wasn’t anyone around and I really liked that. The world is so busy and there is always so much going on, so it’s truly beautiful when you get the chance to just stop and breathe. I looked back at the valley and thought to myself, “There are thousands of people talking, but all I hear is the birds.” It gave me the chills. I experienced a moment of true bliss… I don’t quite know what else to say other then that. I won’t ever forget that moment though.

I was walking along and saw this flower in between some rocks. I love finding things like this because they inspire me. There weren’t any other flowers around except for this one – I could tell that it’s had a rough time during the recent storms but still continues to thrive despite it’s circumstances. It reminded me of all of us who carry on even when the situation we’re in isn’t always ideal. Maybe it’s odd, but this flower helped me feel optimistic about my life and the current obstacles I’m trying to surpass. This is what I mean when I say “don’t lose your color”. Even if everything around you feels dim and gray, you still have to push forward and shine on. There is beauty in everything, sometimes you just have to be the one to create it.

After walking for a while I saw the perfect spot. It looked like a meteor had hit the mountain, it was pretty random but caught my attention. There were lots of rocks and dirt but other then that the only thing that lived in this gaping hole in the mountain was a tree. It didn’t seem like anything until I hiked up and looked at it closer – I was amazed. From afar it seemed like an old lifeless tree, but up close there was an endless amount of gorgeous little flowers on each branch. This was similar to the purple flower that out-shined it’s environment. It blew my mind.

A few steps away there was a hill that I hiked up. There was just enough room for me to sit and meditate. I did this for thirty minutes and it was lovely. I was having a hard time clearing my thoughts at first but I did my breathing and finally became comfortable. A fly landed on my arm but I didn’t feel the need to shoo it away, so it just sat there with me for a minute. That is what peace feels like to me.  When I sat down it was kind of wet and there were holes that some kind of animal called home but I wasn’t too concerned. If a snake was going to bite me in the ass while meditating on this hill then oh well…. Shit happens. I sent a huge amount of love and energy out to my loves today on this hill… And I imagined you were all there with me enjoying that moment. I thought of Nicki Minajs song, “Moment 4 Life” and it applied to the situation minus the rap song part because I don’t think I could meditate to that song. Sorry Nicki.

The mud and I. Neat huh…. Hahah uhhh

I used to hate tying hoodies around my waist. When I was younger my mom would always make me do it. I thought it looked so dumb.  I’m past that now, clearly. I could really give a shit. I mean I’m sitting on a hill covered in mud. For all I know I could be sitting in deer shit.

So I headed back down and felt ready for whatever else the day had to offer. Unfortunately it was reading chapters 10, 11, 13, & 14 in my U.S Government & Politics book. My final is on May Third. I’m going to get an A in that damn class, the end. Don’t care what I have to do, but I’m going to do it. I don’t know how to do things half ass. I either do it, or I don’t. This applies to everything in my life. So that’s that. Cheers to breaking in my shoes and beauty in the dirt. I love you all…

xoxox, Bee