Oversharing and Living in The Now

In the last year I’ve noticed an unhealthy pattern with social media: it sends a message that we’re never good enough, that there is always something or someone doing it bigger and better out there. Because of this we often put up a front instead of showing who we really are. Some do it out of fear, insecurity, uncertainty, or to try and avoid “social rejection”. Others do it because they thrive off of attention, they need to feel validated in everything that they’re doing and they want to show that they are “winning” in this game of life. Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter each have their own influence.

So much time is wasted on these things that can never bring us genuine comfort, happiness, love, or the healthy social interaction we need as humans. And we tend to spiral into a negative head game with ourselves by comparing our lives to others, usually complete strangers, who manage to portray the “perfect life” (that does not exist) by posting photos and videos online. This is so. damn. unhealthy. And honestly, it’s kind of scary. We make up a romantic illusion of what our lives look like, when really things are far from what your feed reflects.

I’ll be the first to admit that I regularly have unhealthy thoughts about my reality and the life I show online. I’ll think “I should take a photo of these weights to prove how healthy I am, to show that I’m dedicated to my fitness.” or “This dinner was delicious and it happens to be pretty, I should snap a photo and upload it to show off my love for time in the kitchen.” or the best one, “I look good today. I should post a #selfie and then put a quote as the caption that has nothing to do with my face. It will distract others from the fact that I’m trying to bring attention to myself” And before I know it I’ve wasted time at the gym, my food is cold, or I’m being rude to those around me by giving all of my energy & attention to an insignificant little app that will not ever truly measure the “good” in who I am or add value to my life. It’s all really unfortunate.

How can we be our authentic selves & truly enjoy this beautiful opportunity to create a life we love when we’re so caught up in this rat race? When we’re constantly missing the miracles in life because our heads are down & we’re living through others? Yes, I am guilty of being sucked into social media & societies expectations. I have been doing it all for years now, including this little blog of mine. For a long time these things were positive outlets. I posted uplifting thoughts, photos of nature, and things that simply made me happy. But it has grown into such an unhealthy daily game of comparison that I’ve decided to step away for a while. No more Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram for me. I need to take a breather from all the bullshit. I desperately need some authenticity in my life. And I need to really think about what I want my message to the world to be.

“Your life is your message to the world. Make it inspiring.”

― Lorrin L. Lee

We should be doing things because they make us & the people we love happy. Our actions, words, and goals should be said, and done, for personal fulfillment, not for ego boosts & validation from strangers who will never truly get to know who we really are. Photos aren’t taken to get as many “likes” & “comments”, they are taken to capture moments that take our breath away, moments that we want to be able to look back on & reflect as individuals. Not to edit the shit out of them, throw on a tacky font with a word like “Yum!” or “Joy!” & post online. Give me a break.

It is time to get real with ourselves. To embrace the fact that life is messy sometimes & we don’t have to share every little thing we do. Sometimes it’s about the quiet moments we have with ourselves. And sometimes it’s about deep, intimate, raw discussions that we have when we are connected with somebody else… Looking straight in the other persons eyes, not into a screen.

Humans tend to be so self involved. We forget that there is an entire world out there filled with so many other beautiful, intelligent, incredible beings. They don’t have iPhones but they do have hearts bigger than their bodies give them credit for and dreams far too large to document in one photo. When are we going to begin celebrating that about people? The quality of their character, their dreams & accomplishments, and their zest for life & making it better for others. That is what matters. Not your “Man crush Monday” “Throwback Thursday” or “Flashback Friday” posts that are repetitive & mean nothing. Go do something. Go be something. Make someones day & resist the urge to tell everyone & their dog about it. Stop posting about it & simply be about it. I promise you it will feel good. It’s time to break the habit of over-sharing and begin living in the now.

I hope that this break will help bring clarity into my life and allow me to step back, breathe, and truly be here.

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My ass can’t live without you

Dear stair-stepper,

we used to be unbreakable. I’d always come see you late at night when I was feeling down & you’d pick me up with lots of tough-love (tripping me, etc.) but you’d always lift my ass a hair-or-two if I visited frequently, so that is just what I did. But then I got busy. I guess you could say life happened, and I left. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve seen you, but my ass can’t live without you. I’m comin’ for you baby — I will step up to your love.

xoxo, the sweatiest brizzle of them all

If you’re currently stair-stepper-less, I recommend www.bodyrock.tv

Find a penny, pick it up…

Dear Kate Spade, if your prices weren’t so exorbitant I’d rock more than your beautiful quotes. I will continue to love you even though we can’t really be together the way I would like us to be. After all, it’s the thought that counts.

Yours truly, Playful-Penny-Pincher

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If you had to describe yourself in four words, which would you choose? It’s okay if you want to use sexy & beast, I won’t judge or tell you you’re wrong. I’ll probably just tell you you’re awesome. Rules are everywhere, so I choose to not really have any around here. Hope you’re cool with that?

xoxo

Kiss the Curb

LADIES! I cannot preach this enough. Having a man around: dad, brother, uncle, boyfriend, baby-daddy, you get it — is all sweet n’ dandy. But what about when you have a flat tire and all the boys are away because they are working and you get to play? Or, what if you don’t have someone to help you with little things like checking your oil — do you have the funds to pay a mechanic each time your ‘check engine’ light goes off? You have to be able to take care of yourself in bad situations!

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Okay lets get this straight: I have learned this far too late in life & I am still trying to learn new things now, but better late than never. By the way, my mother did try & teach me, I just didn’t pay attention. She had to buy AAA so they could save my ass all the time. I’m sorry for being a little shit mom. Actually, I apologize for in the future, too. If I can do that then that would be cool. Don’t follow the leader in this story okay? Actually, always be your own leader in your own story. Okay so…

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I had a flat tire while running errands around this big ole’ town and Andy was at work. I was in my Sunday best — a vintage dress of my mums, bangles n’ sandals. My tire was FLAT as a damn pancake okay. I am not even kidding I felt like I was leaning to the side like a gangster (bwaha) because it was so low. I couldn’t drive any further on it because it would mess up my dope hubcaps. Can’t have that. Those things are wayyy too clean … (one has yellow paint on it from kissing a curb in the parking garage at work…so fresh)

Andy showed me how to check the tire pressure (PSI) so that it doesn’t blow up & ruin everything (including um, me/my skin/anyone around)

Just carry a handy lil’ tire gage & make sure you know what level they need to be at. And, anyone that is laughing their asses off at this post saying I’m a dumbass for JUST learning how to do this, well I just want to help anyone (um, if you’re out there…) that doesn’t know this. I didn’t.

Anyway, I’m outta here. My point is more than made, as usual.. Roll on.

Running towards the unknown

  • Finals
  • Work
  • Worries
  • Money/bills
  • Insecurities
  • Self doubt

My doctor told me to squeeze a quick workout in when I need more energy after a day at work (ya, so not what I was wanting to hear) Did I listen? Yes. Did I do it? No. Today is a day for things I’ve never done, so I stopped the cycle of one bad habit: laziness. I have three articles due tomorrow & I need authentic energy right now. Instead of going for coffee, I ran.

Often when we go towards the unknown we are surprised with what we find — that was the case in this situation. I ran a new route and discovered my own personal haven. The road was freshly paved & barely big enough for one vehicle. To my left there was a field of freedom: calfs snuggled with their mommas while some just stood & looked at me curiously. To be honest, I would too if I saw a girl running her heart out while oozing with joy (it’s not sweat, it’s bliss – stinky bliss) & taking 849 photos. To my right there was an open field with the mountains behind it — it was the perfect mixture of natures finest.
I realize it’s hard to do some of the things doctors recommend — I’m a firm believer that although they are extremely educated & specialize in caring for our well-being, we know our bodies best. Just because you might not agree with “their way” doesn’t mean you can’t find another way. Take care of yourself by listening, and watching, your body. There are countless ways to be healthy that do not include weight lifting & marathons. Find what works for you & do it. When I’d rather not, I remind myself: our bodies keep track of everything we do, even when we do not.

OOTD

I dont usually do “Outfit of the day” posts or outfit posts at all, but last weekend I stood on my tippy-toes & let my bins of Spring/Summer clothes out of the closet. I was thrilled to see them after a long Winter.  My spirits are always lifted when the weather allows me to step out in a sundress and sandals. I prefer being barefoot when my dresses touch the ground but the places I can wear those shoes are limited (boo).


Mum said I needed to limit my photos on here with Roman because it makes me look crazy (whoops). Just because Roman is in this photo doesn’t mean I didn’t listen to her —  I always listen to my momma, she knows best. But today I tried to take this shot with self-timer & Roman ran onto the window ledge right as I sat down. I grabbed him to tell him he wasn’t asked to be in the picture, but it obviously didn’t work. So here I am sitting in my office acting all crazy and shit.

I’m obsessed with natural light lately. I don’t know why, but I can’t get enough of it. Nothing makes me happier than when the sun hits my house just right & makes every room glow when I open the windows. It’s rare that I turn lights on during the day and I keep the windows wide open to keep it cool. When it rains my house feels/smells/sounds like heaven… I’m very thankful for my beautiful sanctuary.

I should be doing so many other things, but I had to fit in some posts today. Don’t hate me for the email or two today :/  I just meees you

Kissing Strangers

Happy Sunday my sweets! I am spending my time wisely today by checking things off of all my lifesaving-lists. One of my to-do’s this morning was ‘make sun tea’ :)

Even though I haven’t been writing new posts I’m still trying keep things interesting around here. I mean, we’ve been together for over a year… I can’t just blow you off like that, you know? I’ve been posting different things that I find inspiring, helpful, or just share-worthy on Commander In Chic’s FaceBook page. I also tweet regularly & you know I am always on top of my Instagram game. So pop on over and join the mid-study celebrations my friend!

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Today I shared a delicious recipe for: balsamic grilled summer vegetables with basil and quionoa salad. Ew. Did you just drool on your yourself/laptop?… Sicko. (I did too)

There are also directions for cleaning your nasty ass washing machine — I did it today & could not be happier or more weirdly-excited to bust out my laundry. Trust me on this one, detailing washing machines is easier than it sounds (and yes, it’s a real thing, to all the smartasses reading this laughing at my laundrycitement ;)

I’ll begin replying to your kind words this evening!! This is my favorite part because if I wanted to talk to myself I would……. And well, sometimes I do. But you’re much more fun anyway. Our discussions are important to me, which is why I believe in setting aside some time to maintain them. As you know, hearing from you is one of the most rewarding things to me. Let it out babydoll!

Anywho, it’s game time and my Giants are about to show ya how it’s done. Tune in folks… Oh, and I will also be mourning Brian Wilson’s injury/season-destroyer. Whether it’s in action or not, I still fear the beard/have dreams about it that we don’t talk about on here. Smooching and missing the hell out of you! Even if we don’t even ‘know each other’………… at all. :)

xoxo, Bee