Blackies Home

I saw this idea on Pinterest & thought, “Oh, Blackie-Chan would LOVE this!”

But then my wife/meow meow asked me if I thought Blackie might  feel like he’s getting roasted. I really hope he wouldn’t. I am just trying to spice up his life, you know? When its sunny outside I move his bowl to the windowsill in the kitchen & he gets sooo happy. It’s pretty cute, except the sun makes his bowl a giant magnifying glass for every particle of shit he’s swimming in. Whatever dude. I cleaned it 4 days ago – Get over it & be grateful for what you have.

My hopes are that he would enjoy the floating candles, and maybe mistake them for his own personal sunshine. Or jesus. Thoughts?

Attack Of The Nerds

Dear people who lived here before us,

If I find ONE more pink ‘nerd’ in a crack/crevice/stair I swear to god I will hunt you down & shove them straight up your ass. And then make you eat them. Not even kidding. If I was as careless with my FunDip as you were with these Nerds we would have an ant infested home. Assholes.

With love,

The new tenants who don’t have a vacuum yet.

ps. maintenance did a fantastic job ‘deep cleaning’ the house before we moved in..