Blackies Home

I saw this idea on Pinterest & thought, “Oh, Blackie-Chan would LOVE this!”

But then my wife/meow meow asked me if I thought Blackie might  feel like he’s getting roasted. I really hope he wouldn’t. I am just trying to spice up his life, you know? When its sunny outside I move his bowl to the windowsill in the kitchen & he gets sooo happy. It’s pretty cute, except the sun makes his bowl a giant magnifying glass for every particle of shit he’s swimming in. Whatever dude. I cleaned it 4 days ago – Get over it & be grateful for what you have.

My hopes are that he would enjoy the floating candles, and maybe mistake them for his own personal sunshine. Or jesus. Thoughts?

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Attack Of The Nerds

Dear people who lived here before us,

If I find ONE more pink ‘nerd’ in a crack/crevice/stair I swear to god I will hunt you down & shove them straight up your ass. And then make you eat them. Not even kidding. If I was as careless with my FunDip as you were with these Nerds we would have an ant infested home. Assholes.

With love,

The new tenants who don’t have a vacuum yet.

ps. maintenance did a fantastic job ‘deep cleaning’ the house before we moved in..