I Fought For Her

Sometimes I struggle when people boast about their lives. I’m a strong believer in being about it instead of talking about it constantly. But tonight I feel like it’s time for me to reflect.

I have never been in a better place than I am right now. This year my journey has certainly shown me plenty of heartbreak, loneliness, emotional/physical pain, and even shades of hate. But those are the things that have helped me remember to fill my heart with joy and focus on the beautiful aspects of life. I no longer take my smile or anyone else’s for granted

There are so many things I could attribute my happiness to. I have a safe home, loyal family & friends, good health, and a career that I believe in. But the thing that has helped me stay happy is being consistent with my self-love. My life changed as soon as I realized that I could not give my all to this world without loving myself first. I told myself that if I would not treat someone else a certain way, then why would I treat myself that way? That is truly when it began to click.

I am proud of the woman that I am because I have fought for her. I had to grow in so many ways in order to fit into these “shoes” that I currently fill. And I know that because of this I am a better person and I can contribute more to this world & the people in it than I once did. I have made the time to create space in my life for the little things that can make big differences. And I am so excited to continue to love without limits, fight for who & what I believe in, and live the very best life I can possibly live.

This next year of my life will be one I will never forget, I know that in my heart. And I can’t wait to share the things I learn along the way with all of you!

Thank you to each person that has ever sent little words of encouragement in the last year. You have helped me tremendously and I would not be who I am without you. Cheers to my last week of being 21 & never giving up on the people we know we can be.

Xoxo, Bailey Mikell

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When Things Get Heavy

One of my biggest flaws is not paying enough attention to detail¬†(always has been) but I’m working hard to make sure it will not always be. I’m learning life is easier when we stop running away from our personal flaws.. or even worse, ignoring them. I’m not saying I accept the fact that I drove to Idaho this morning because I missed the exit I take to get home on a regular basis (too much on my mind + Romans neat perma-meow/panting the whole way home didn’t help)… Alls I’m sayin’ is I’m not going to beat myself into the ground because of it ¬†(route B was much prettier anyway) My point is that¬†mistakes do not erase our self-worth, they teach us lifelong lessons that increase it bit by bit. This is, of course, as long as we choose to learn from the bumps in the road instead of letting them throw us off track.

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I guess what I’m trying to say is a little bird is telling me one of you may need to be reminded that you’re incredible, and you probably don’t even know it. Be soft with yourself, sweets. You’re just learning and the books only get heavier from here. Get some reading glasses that you feel like a babe in & get to studying, darlin. It’s a long, windy, beautiful & sometimes ugly road ahead. (Don’t tell your mum I said this) but sometimes I get so busy keeping my heart active that I forget to use my brain — and I don’t see a damn thing wrong with that.

All that it wanted to be

On March 20th 2011 I embarked on a new adventure. During that adventure I sailed amid many incredible sunsets, found inspiration from every fish in the sea & experienced a handful of storms that forced me to just breathe & trust the wind. In the end I met you at the perfect little dock. I am proud to say that you are far from regular and I am so glad I’ve been given the chance to be graced by your love & light. Cheers to letting the first ocean we sailed together be all that it wanted to be & here’s to many more together.

1 year down sweets! Happy birthday baby blog! And thank you, I couldn’t have a better crew.

All my love, Bailey Mikell

Twice For Luck

Andy woke me up at 2:30 in the morning to tell me that our fish, Blackie Chan, has been eating the rocks in his bowl & then spitting them out. I asked him if that was some kind of joke when we got up today, and he said no. He accused me of starving Blackie – But I feed him 3 times a day. So what the hell dude? What kind of fish does that? Anyway, that was the way I started my day today.

Lately whenever water gets spilled on the floor & I step in it (which grosses me out really bad for some reason) I automatically assume someone pee’d on the floor. Why? Why do I do this? It’s not like there is a dog or a kid here? I am an odd duck.

I am going to be working on my paper tonight. It’s due on Tuesday so it’s not that my time limit is stressful, it’s the fact that I don’t have a god damn clue what I am doing. When I signed up for this class I was ready for a challenge. That is what life is about, stepping out of your comfort zone & exploring things that scare you.

Even though I know I can do this, part of me is beginning to see what I am good at and what I am not good at. Creative writing/pulling shit out of my ass is my specialty (pardon my french) – Journalism, mmm, not so much. Avoiding the things I struggle with will not get me anywhere in life. Deep down, I am simply scared to death of failing. With lots of hard work I hope to avoid that and prove myself wrong. I rubbed my buddhas belly twice today… I hope it helps.

Until this paper is done you (hopefully) will not hear from me. XOXO