Bollywood & Ass Cheeks

I don’t know if I am the only one that does this, I hope I’m not, but if I am can you just pretend I’m not so that I feel better?

Yesterday I thought I’d try & wear a cute little outfit on for school because I have been such a bum as of late. I had the perfect top and shoes but when I went to shimmy into my jeans my ass just didn’t quite fit. So that blew. But, I don’t quite understand women who are ashamed of their asses… I would be devastated if I lost mine. Anyway – Long story short I resorted to my cutest workout get up for school yesterday because my other clothes gave me muffin top or wouldn’t go above my thighs. No, I didn’t just get done with a hardcore workout – I wore my PJ’s at work all day & this is the only thing that fits. Whoops.

Today I had the most productive and positive day I have had for a while. I got all of the things that have been weighing me down done after work… and I squeezed in studying, a work out, cleaning the whole house, catching up with Andy with his boys and a bath. I was so excited to go to the gym here at our town-homes when I realized we had one (yes, we have lived here for over a month). I got in my other super cute workout outfit (I like stretchy pants) & drove to the gym. Unfortunately, my key card didn’t work for shit. I sat outside scanning a worthless piece of plastic until I decided to go home & find another route.

My next route was Comcast’s OnDemand Bollywood Dance Video. I honestly believe that if I submitted a video of me doing this dance workout it would be on tosh.o next week. I was having so much fun until I almost rolled my ankle doing the grapevine. They tell us to shake our hips, hug ourselves, let the waterfall of abundance shower us and skip like we are in a meadow or our yard. What the fuck? It was one of the best workouts I’ve had. I miraculously dodged cardiac arrest.

After that I cleaned the house while ‘Don’t Tell Me’ by Madonna blasted through the speakers. Even though I adore Madonna (and all her music until the 90’s ended) I don’t think she should have been dancing in fuck-me-pumps while she did squats combined with the spread eagle. The bitch could knock me out with her man arms BUT I think she needs to take it easy…She apparently tore her groin prior to the performance. Like girlfriend, that tore for a reason, take a break! Anyway, tomorrow I get to sleep in a little bit prior to work & then go to class. I have so much to do to in order to be where I would like/need to be for this course, so send your genius brain waves my way, loves.

If you have a shitty day tomorrow, just do a bollywood workout video you’ll feel the abundance all the way from your chest/shoulders to your left ass cheek. XOXO

Getting white girl crazy.

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The Beauty Takes The Gold

After sharing the rant from hell I knew I just might regret, I read your comments & learned to breathe again. With the love & support of all of you I got through the hardest day Logan has thrown at me thus far. Those deep breathes resulted in this recent discovery: We can either break down or break through, and like one of my amazing readers said, we always, always have a choice. One of my readers whom I adore also commented on that post & gave me some food for thought…

“Sometimes I sit and watch the emotion unfold like I used to watch clouds form and unform until they passed from my living room window,” he said. “Doing that reduces the potency of the feeling but also helps clear your head and provide you sometimes with great insights. It seems at first a very zen thing or stoic but it will relax you and help. – just my two cents” Well, your two cents prevented this lil’ lady from losin’ my mind up in here. (Click the link, it will make more sense) Thank you Mr. Marymuthafuckingpoppins :)

Shortly after I spent some time unfolding, Leslie (Andys sister) invited me over to watch the Superbowl with their family. Such little things seem to get by without recognition, so I want to say thank you. I adore the Lundbergs & cherish the time I get to spend with them. Being with them brings me comfort that feels familiar to the kind I find with my own family, which is something my heart has been absolutely yearning for.

The lesson I learned in this mini-meltdown of mine is this: The on-going battle with my emotions was the root to a weed that can spread like a wild fire. But who am  I to choose what is a flower & what may be a weed? Despite the flaws in my situation I believe the beauty takes the gold. I did not see this at first, of course, but because of my readers, the Lundbergs and my loved ones I opened my eyes to what I have, not what I need.

It has been a little over a month since I loaded my car & made the trip that I had been waiting for for years. The transition scared the shit out of me… but I knew that I was on my way to a new home where I would grow & expand my ability to cope as a young woman in an old & very fast world. Consider this a big fat smooch & long hug from me. Some say strangers cannot make a difference, but I feel we have a connection, and all of you have indeed made a difference in my life… an unforgettable one.

Photos Via Pinterest 

All of my love, B.

M53

Happy birthday Madonna!

This photo was taken in 1983 by her original stylist, Maripol. I absolutely love it.

“I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.”

“Don’t just stand there let’s get to it. Strike a pose, there’s nothing to it.”

J’adore!

Taboo

Today was a beautiful day. I had breakfast with Jon, Sunny, Parcel, and Grommet. The kids ate a little bit of my eggs and we played fetch for an hour. Jon left and I had the most delicious afternoon in the world. After playing fetch I ran myself a bubble bath and filled my head with positive thoughts and my intentions for the day. I opened the window so I could smell the fresh earth and listen to the rain. Then I took a nap with the pups and Grommy. My interview was at 4:00 so I thought I’d rest for an hour and get ready at 2. Well it wouldn’t be a proper nap if I didn’t sleep later then expected, right? Let’s just say that. So I rolled out of bed and started to get ready. I danced around to Madonna in my underwear and sang to the dogs. I’m sane, as you can see. Unfortunately that alll came to a hault when I realized I forgot to put my clothes in the drier. So I ran downstairs and opened the washing machine and probably lost all the color in my face right then and there…. They were still soaking wet. I had 30 minutes to miraculously dry these clothes and leave the house. I would have normally just picked another outfit but it’s the only thing I brought to my aunties to wear and we’re required to wear all black soo… I was pretty screwed. I started to ring my pants, tank, and sweater as fast as possible. 40 minutes later they still weren’t dry and I was still walking around the house in my underwear stressing. the. fuck. OUT and definitely not enjoying Madonna like I was before the whole sopping wet clothes ordreal. I wanted to b early to my interview… But as usual, I was probably going to be a couple minutes late. That’s the neat part about being me. My clock and the worlds clock don’t tick the same way. The people in my life have learned to not take my, ‘See ya in thirty!’ seriously and to expect me in 45, it’s really not my best quality and I’m trying to work on it.

Needless to say I ended up rocking some semi-wet clothes to the interview. Good news is I got the job! Bad news is when Sam hugged me goodbye after the interview she was probably super weirded out because I felt extremely cold. Like a dead person. And soggy. Like an old hamburger bun. But, like I said, I got the job so I wasn’t too concerned after it was all said and done. My mum has always said I make things harder on myself then I need to. As my life rolls to an almost 20 year mark, I can confidently say my mother was absolutely right. I am who I am, I always show up, I just might be a wee bit damp.

So of course I rang my cute boy first to tell him the good news and then my mum. I stopped by to smooch and squeeze her and eat a sandwich (I’m in college… I’m always hungry, judge me). I told her I was going to a ‘Slumber Party’ tonight and she goes “Oh! Okay well don’t drive!” I looked at her and said “Umm, what do you mean….” She goes well you know if you drink with the girls don’t drive. I went on to tell her that there wasn’t going to be any drinking at the “Slumber Party” and she just sat there looking kind of confused on the whole plan for the evening. She thought I was going to go see the ladies and then at the end of the night we’d roll into our sleeping bags like little piglets and go to sleep. No. I was going to a party that is hosted by a company that sells sex toys and what not.  Loooord if you could have seen my mothers face when I explained this to her.. She looked at me with absolute horror. And then curiosity got the best of her and she started to ask questions. That’s what I love about my mum and I’s relationship, we can be pretty open with each other about what goes on in our lives. So off I went to the slumber party to pass around things to ‘Ooh, ahh, and ewww’ at oh, and look at, and occasionally lick. There was a vibrator that had an elephant on it with wings… Like ummm really, Dumbo in bed? It’s a top seller… Makes you wonder right? Anyway Shelby and Rachel were amazing hosts and we had a blast. When Stephanie the consultant talked to us about how much she loved her job I started to consider looking into it. HA! Hope my family isn’t reading this. That would be awkward. “So Bee, what’s new, how’s school, where are you working?” Schools great, I’m just trying to get it done, oh and I’m selling sex toys on the side! That wouldn’t be odd at all. Anyway, even if it would be weird, I’m still considering it. Every woman deserves to feel empowered and feel good in all aspects of life… Call it what you want but I see no shame in pursuing some pleasure. Sex should never be a word people look down upon. You all do it eventually, whether it’s after you’re married or before or whenever, we all love that intimacy in our lives. So why not make the best of it? I mean, I’m not down with the freaky swings and shit, but there are some other things that could enhance the experience. Just sayin’…..

Alright enough slumber party talk. Sorry if anyone feels like they’ve been exposed to a bit too much. It is what it is I guess. So that’s my day for ya. Breakfast with one of my best friends, naps, bubble baths, new jobs, and being educated on everything to do with sexy time. Life is good in my world – What’s going on in yours?

XOXO, B