I went on a hike by myself today & it was so good. I walked out of the house in my underarmour pants, tennis shoes, and a hoodie ready to explore. Lately I’m a freak about how I look before I go out which isn’t like me at all. This is because I’m growing my hair out and it’s a really painful process. I worry about looking like a boy because I have a she-mullet kind of thing going on. So I’m usually rocking a turban/hat unless I feel like I have the she-mullet under control (which doesn’t happen too often). Anyway, I didn’t wear a stitch of makeup and I let my hair do it’s troll-y thang. And guess what? I felt just fine. So that was nice because being insecure is a gross feeling and we don’t need that now do we.
For some reason I woke up in a very care-free mood this morning… So when I realized how muddy it was on the path I took I didn’t really trip. Usually I would though because my shoes are white… You get the point, you’re not a dumbass. I don’t think. Anyway, I just walked along the muddy little path breathing heavily like an overweight german man that smokes cigs on the reg. So glad I quite smoking – I am SO out of shape, jesus lord. I wasn’t quite sure where I was going but I knew it was going to be good. There wasn’t anyone around and I really liked that. The world is so busy and there is always so much going on, so it’s truly beautiful when you get the chance to just stop and breathe. I looked back at the valley and thought to myself, “There are thousands of people talking, but all I hear is the birds.” It gave me the chills. I experienced a moment of true bliss… I don’t quite know what else to say other then that. I won’t ever forget that moment though.
I was walking along and saw this flower in between some rocks. I love finding things like this because they inspire me. There weren’t any other flowers around except for this one – I could tell that it’s had a rough time during the recent storms but still continues to thrive despite it’s circumstances. It reminded me of all of us who carry on even when the situation we’re in isn’t always ideal. Maybe it’s odd, but this flower helped me feel optimistic about my life and the current obstacles I’m trying to surpass. This is what I mean when I say “don’t lose your color”. Even if everything around you feels dim and gray, you still have to push forward and shine on. There is beauty in everything, sometimes you just have to be the one to create it.
After walking for a while I saw the perfect spot. It looked like a meteor had hit the mountain, it was pretty random but caught my attention. There were lots of rocks and dirt but other then that the only thing that lived in this gaping hole in the mountain was a tree. It didn’t seem like anything until I hiked up and looked at it closer – I was amazed. From afar it seemed like an old lifeless tree, but up close there was an endless amount of gorgeous little flowers on each branch. This was similar to the purple flower that out-shined it’s environment. It blew my mind.
A few steps away there was a hill that I hiked up. There was just enough room for me to sit and meditate. I did this for thirty minutes and it was lovely. I was having a hard time clearing my thoughts at first but I did my breathing and finally became comfortable. A fly landed on my arm but I didn’t feel the need to shoo it away, so it just sat there with me for a minute. That is what peace feels like to me. When I sat down it was kind of wet and there were holes that some kind of animal called home but I wasn’t too concerned. If a snake was going to bite me in the ass while meditating on this hill then oh well…. Shit happens. I sent a huge amount of love and energy out to my loves today on this hill… And I imagined you were all there with me enjoying that moment. I thought of Nicki Minajs song, “Moment 4 Life” and it applied to the situation minus the rap song part because I don’t think I could meditate to that song. Sorry Nicki.
The mud and I. Neat huh…. Hahah uhhh
I used to hate tying hoodies around my waist. When I was younger my mom would always make me do it. I thought it looked so dumb. I’m past that now, clearly. I could really give a shit. I mean I’m sitting on a hill covered in mud. For all I know I could be sitting in deer shit.
So I headed back down and felt ready for whatever else the day had to offer. Unfortunately it was reading chapters 10, 11, 13, & 14 in my U.S Government & Politics book. My final is on May Third. I’m going to get an A in that damn class, the end. Don’t care what I have to do, but I’m going to do it. I don’t know how to do things half ass. I either do it, or I don’t. This applies to everything in my life. So that’s that. Cheers to breaking in my shoes and beauty in the dirt. I love you all…