Down to the Last Drop

I stopped wearing my favorite perfume after I left him. I found out it had been discontinued and my bottle was running low. I thought to myself “save it for something special”. I couldn’t figure out just what that was, but I didn’t want it to go to waste on any old day, and that’s exactly how everyday had began to feel.

Weeks later I was still waiting for that “something special”. My best friend grabbed my wrist in excitement after I spritzed myself before we went out to breakfast and said “is that my favorite stuff?” she turned away and said “oh no” and continued getting ready.

The thing I realized right then is that as silly as it sounds to be so attached to a scent it still feels like a part of me, a part of my past. And when it’s gone, it’s gone… but that’s okay, because I will still be here when the perfume runs out. And so will the memories.

So life goes on even after our favorite scent no longer exists. We can’t wait for something fabulous to do a key thing we used to do for ourselves everyday. That’s the funny thing about women sometimes… We think we should sit and wait for the bus when really we need to slip on our comfiest flats and run after it before it drives away from us. Life’s too short to sit around waiting, smelling, and feeling like anything but ourselves. So I am done waiting for unmade plans, and I’m finally ready to use every last drop.

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I Still Love You…

Maybe when you watched the game today, you thought of me. After all, you were the one who planted the seed of love for the 49ers into this beautiful garden I call life. I still wear this perfume you gave me, but only on days where my heart feels stable & the weather says there isn’t any¬†precipitation¬†in the forecast. Deep down, I wonder if you read my blog still. Part of me hopes that you’re hanging onto the only way you can be a part of my life right now. Being humans, we make mistakes. I guess you could say we have both been acting like humans without any filters. Forgiveness is something I strongly believe in but still struggle with every single day. I hope that we can look past the bitterness & stop being stubborn… I understand that I am not always right (even when I am wrong), so I promise not to point fingers. We both still have so much to learn. I do hope that eventually, we can do the learning together. Until then, know that I still love you, & I am still crossing my fingers you do too.

Just to clear things up… This post is not about some secret man or ex-boyfriend in my life, it is about my father. My boss likes to say, ‘Never assume, because you will make an ass out of you & me’. Sorry for the misunderstanding… Thank you.