I Fought For Her

Sometimes I struggle when people boast about their lives. I’m a strong believer in being about it instead of talking about it constantly. But tonight I feel like it’s time for me to reflect.

I have never been in a better place than I am right now. This year my journey has certainly shown me plenty of heartbreak, loneliness, emotional/physical pain, and even shades of hate. But those are the things that have helped me remember to fill my heart with joy and focus on the beautiful aspects of life. I no longer take my smile or anyone else’s for granted

There are so many things I could attribute my happiness to. I have a safe home, loyal family & friends, good health, and a career that I believe in. But the thing that has helped me stay happy is being consistent with my self-love. My life changed as soon as I realized that I could not give my all to this world without loving myself first. I told myself that if I would not treat someone else a certain way, then why would I treat myself that way? That is truly when it began to click.

I am proud of the woman that I am because I have fought for her. I had to grow in so many ways in order to fit into these “shoes” that I currently fill. And I know that because of this I am a better person and I can contribute more to this world & the people in it than I once did. I have made the time to create space in my life for the little things that can make big differences. And I am so excited to continue to love without limits, fight for who & what I believe in, and live the very best life I can possibly live.

This next year of my life will be one I will never forget, I know that in my heart. And I can’t wait to share the things I learn along the way with all of you!

Thank you to each person that has ever sent little words of encouragement in the last year. You have helped me tremendously and I would not be who I am without you. Cheers to my last week of being 21 & never giving up on the people we know we can be.

Xoxo, Bailey Mikell

Entwine Oneself Around the Key

I love the feeling I get when I am around people that make me feel like I don’t have to explain myself. They get it.

I also love when I have had a bad day & I’m hardly holding it down, about to crumble, and someone has the key. The key that most look past because it is so incredibly simple. What I love is it takes us back to the basics. The key that solves many of my problems 99% of the time is the comfort that roots back to a genuine embrace: sometimes, when I don’t know what else to do other than not fall apart I just need someone to pick me up, pull me in close, & hug me. Are any of you with me on this? If so… Continue. 

As we mature we are expected to be well composed when handling tough situations. There are plenty of ways society expects us to deal with negativity, but the biggest one is ignoring it. Last time I checked if you ignore something it either dies, remains in it’s current state, grows, or rots. For me, it’s usually the last one. I believe thoughts get old, and just like the garbage, we need to take our old rung out thoughts to the dump — and leave them there.

I believe in starting fresh & doing so often. Think of it this way: just like computers, our brains/thoughts/attitudes need to be refreshed. And then, we just might need someone to pull us in, wrap their arms around us (whether they be big & strong, or soft & delicate) & remind us that this too shall pass. The beautiful thing is sometimes they can do so without saying a word (my mum & grandma are great for this… so are my auntie Care & Brenna)

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I think society is wrong in many ways, especially with the way it asks us to cope with aches & pains that ibuprofen doesn’t stand a chance against. I think it can be unhealthy to never take our strong faces off.  And, in my opinion, it’s not fair to the tender spots in your heart that you may have forgotten about 20 years ago because you chose to ‘do what you have to do’ vs. taking care of yourself & moving on after you “take the trash out”

I think what Oscar Wilde said (despite it being targeted towards women) is very fitting for this. Wilde said “Women are ment to be loved — not to be understood. Well perhaps we should take some notes and stop muffling our pain & begin wading through it by starting with a hug.

This one is for you, grandma. Someday, I hope we can hug an elephant together :)

I know everyone doesn’t like hugs — and that’s okay. I respect that! So don’t worry, I’m all about respecting your beautiful bubble! But the next time I see someone I love trying to fight through their battles alone, or they just aren’t sure who to pick for their team of heart-ache-kicking supporters, I’ll do one easy & powerful thing (if my gut instinct tells me it’s okay to do so): Ignore my desire to give advice that may not be asked for, and simply give them a squeeze. Perhaps we can benefit from a little unity instead of constantly trying to be superior to others by proving our strengths that, in the end, usually make us weak. 

Ready, set, love. 

I Still Love You…

Maybe when you watched the game today, you thought of me. After all, you were the one who planted the seed of love for the 49ers into this beautiful garden I call life. I still wear this perfume you gave me, but only on days where my heart feels stable & the weather says there isn’t any precipitation in the forecast. Deep down, I wonder if you read my blog still. Part of me hopes that you’re hanging onto the only way you can be a part of my life right now. Being humans, we make mistakes. I guess you could say we have both been acting like humans without any filters. Forgiveness is something I strongly believe in but still struggle with every single day. I hope that we can look past the bitterness & stop being stubborn… I understand that I am not always right (even when I am wrong), so I promise not to point fingers. We both still have so much to learn. I do hope that eventually, we can do the learning together. Until then, know that I still love you, & I am still crossing my fingers you do too.

Just to clear things up… This post is not about some secret man or ex-boyfriend in my life, it is about my father. My boss likes to say, ‘Never assume, because you will make an ass out of you & me’. Sorry for the misunderstanding… Thank you.

My Love Has A Limit

It’s funny to me how many of us see relationships in black and white. Either you’re madly in love or ‘doing you‘. Doing you = The bitter version of saying you hate being single. So, in an attempt to forget you’re single you’re going to work yourself into the ground with things like college, work, fitness, and biting off way more then you can chew which usually results in a mental breakdown. Awesome.

But what about those who are in a relationship that has fallen into the comfortable stage? The stage where each partner could care less about ‘oohing and ahhing’. Where appreciation was dismissed shortly after ‘He got you’, & surprises & dates are a thing of the past. In my opinion, getting comfortable is dangerous. When you lose the butterflies you lack in passion, & could begin to resent your partner. Often people find fear in being alone, so they stay in a relationship that is bland & boring because they feel safe. But what about being happy? What about that can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t breathe kind of love we all dream about?

We all deserve to be adored. Even a sweet text can make me smile like a loser all day long. So why are you choosing to feel safe, when you can choose to be loved? And have you ever considered standing up, putting your finger in the air, and saying ‘My love has a limit’? One of my favorite songs lays it out there perfectly, it’s called ‘Breaking Point’.  I hope that the people in situations similar to this can see what they deserve & walk away from the unhealthy relationships they are in. Give yourself a little self-love, even if the person you are with chooses not to. After all, it is better to be single & happy then taken & miserable.

‘Now ladies, we really should be mad at ourselves
Cuz see, some women just tolerate way too damn much
Now I know we gotta choose our battles
But damn it, every woman gotta breaking point

Today’s The Day

Be proud of your gorgeous figure, healthy mind, and curious soul. Treat your body with love & care. Don’t let anybody tell you that it’s time to downplay your powerful energy. Fill your mind with education, your heart with love, and your body with things that will give you that drive you need to work hard and love even harder. Seize the day & embrace the fact that you are capable of doing whatever your heart desires. Nobody has ever been scolded for being relentless when it comes to their dreams….

Today is the day to truly start living & not apologizing for a second of it.

Some Men

Quote

Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman’s toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace.” -Marianne Williamson

Caution

Wouldn’t it be nice?

My insecurities bring out the ugly side of me. How ironic. When I say, ‘Stay Beautiful’ I mean it. Because it’s not the easiest thing to do. I’m curious, is it possible to want too much love? I love to love and I don’t know how to do it any other way then unconditionally. Maybe that’s too much? I have a hard time when situations make me question myself and my ability to be loved. Life is weird dude. Ciao