“Her”

You know that feeling when you’re eating popcorn in the theatre and it’s soo good because you only have it when you rarely go to the movies? All that salt, artery clogging butter, and kernels lodging themselves into your gums. MMM. Love it.

So that was me today while watching “Her“. Except there would be quiet, intimate moments and I’d be shoving said popcorn into my mouth (and maybe kind of crying) and then I suddenly felt slightly insecure about the situation. “Oh my god, can everybody in this fucking theatre hear me chewing this popcorn? Did they just hear that kernel?… I am so thirsty. Why do I have to pee?” Listen. We both know you’ve been there alright.

Anyway, I only finished half the bag because I just don’t usually eat theater food and I really was so thirsty. But it was good. And like, $10. Movie theaters have been robbing bitches like it ain’t no thing forever, and we’re totally okay with it. Isn’t that weird?

“Her” was a very interesting, puzzling, beautiful movie. One of my favorite parts was when the main characters friend said “We’re only here briefly, and while I’m here, I want to allow myself joy.” 

And at the end this part broke, and opened, my heart just a little bit (as if I need anymore of that right now…)

Theodore: I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved you.

Samantha: Me too. Now we know how.

I wont ruin it for you, but you should go see it. And shove popcorn in your mouth as fast as you possibly can. That’s hot.

tumblr_inline_mzz7pubVZ91qmp7ip

Advertisements

For Men Who’ve Never Held Your Feet

Every 6 months or so I go through the large wooden Olive and Cocoa box where I keep the little things that bring me joy. Birthday cards & “wish you were here’s“, gut-wrenchingly beautiful articles, old photos, worn ticket stubs, and quotes. With time these things begin to look scattered and lost — my pile of messy love. A tiny piece of my heart is in that box. And tonight was the night that I went through it, reflected, and organized the little notes and trinkets.

As I was doing this I found a quote folded up that I printed off at work. I did so because at the time there was a man in my life that treated me like a kitchen dish towel. It felt as though he had found me nicely folded, dunked me in hot dirty water, used me to clean the corners of his dusty and tattered heart, and then rung me out before he threw me aside to dry. Needless to say, there was some healing to do.

I’ve always loved the way words can handle my emotions that I often don’t know what to do with. This quote is long, but it is such a nice reminder of how far I have come. How much my heart has grown and how much strength I have found since this time of my life. It’s an incredible feeling to know that I’ve made the decision to never allow anyone to make me feel that small again.

So as I sit here on the floor of my cozy little apartment I am crossing my fingers. Hoping that at least one person can relate to this and then think “Wow, I am so much stronger now.” Anyway… I hope you enjoy it.

photo (39)

“How far have you walked for men who’ve never held your feet in their laps?
How often have you bartered with bone, only to sell yourself short?
Why do you find the unavailable so alluring?
Where did it begin? What went wrong? And who made you feel so worthless?
If they wanted you, wouldn’t they have chosen you?
All this time, you were begging for love silently, thinking they couldn’t hear you, but they smelt it on you, you must have known that they could taste the desperate on your skin?
And what about the others that would do anything for you, why did you make them love you until you could not stand it?
How are you both of these women, both flighty and needful?
Where did you learn this, to want what does not want you?
Where did you learn this, to leave those that want to stay?” 
― Warsan Shire

Drawing Me in And Kicking Me Out

I’ve had a thing for John Legend since “Ordinary People” came out in 2009. And I can’t say there has been a single song that he’s made since then that I don’t enjoy. He’s simple, he’s romantic, and he’s classy. 

He married his girlfriend of six years, the beautiful Chrissy Teigen, in September — and he wrote this amazing song for her. As I drove home tonight the streets were empty and my heat was blasting as tiny snowflakes bombarded my windshield. I hadn’t been home with the exception of my quick outfit change after work. As midnight was approaching I was in a hurry to crawl into my warm bed. It was the perfect time to turn this song up really loud and drive just a little bit over the speed limit. Hey, sometimes the rush mixed with a beautiful song is all a girl needs.

I mean the first verse, come on now. It’s perfect.

How to be a better (happier and healthier) human being

“Never touch anything with half of your heart. Be present, endlessly loving and compassionate towards others. Confront any challenging situation first with a deep breath. Wander. Remember that your own happiness and comfort comes above all things. Before reacting—understand. Eat breakfast every morning. Find the faces in the flowers. Remember what is important to you. Treat your body kindly. Be honest. Get to know yourself. Take things at your own pace. Don’t feel embarrassed to feel, laugh, cry, sing or love. Remember that what’s right for someone else may not be what is right for you (and that’s okay). Never be ashamed or afraid to ask for help. Do what you love. Remember that you always have a choice. Find joy in what life really is—living.”

Learning to be at peace with this beautiful and messy world is the first step. Inhale pink, exhale grey and smile… You’re incredible.  XOXO

Image

Well & Warm

There isn’t anything wrong with working for the finer things — but there is definitely something right about learning to slow down & bask in the fleeting moments in life. With that said, I wish you just that this weekend. And, if you feel like it, try & stop & enjoy the things you’d normally look past. It’s not always easy, but in this case, it’s usually worth it. Can’t wait to hear how it goes.

___________________________________

Ps. This girl ain’t hard to please… The best treat in the world is love. So sure, spoil me ;)  

xoxo + the potential smack on thou cute ass, Bee

Entwine Oneself Around the Key

I love the feeling I get when I am around people that make me feel like I don’t have to explain myself. They get it.

I also love when I have had a bad day & I’m hardly holding it down, about to crumble, and someone has the key. The key that most look past because it is so incredibly simple. What I love is it takes us back to the basics. The key that solves many of my problems 99% of the time is the comfort that roots back to a genuine embrace: sometimes, when I don’t know what else to do other than not fall apart I just need someone to pick me up, pull me in close, & hug me. Are any of you with me on this? If so… Continue. 

As we mature we are expected to be well composed when handling tough situations. There are plenty of ways society expects us to deal with negativity, but the biggest one is ignoring it. Last time I checked if you ignore something it either dies, remains in it’s current state, grows, or rots. For me, it’s usually the last one. I believe thoughts get old, and just like the garbage, we need to take our old rung out thoughts to the dump — and leave them there.

I believe in starting fresh & doing so often. Think of it this way: just like computers, our brains/thoughts/attitudes need to be refreshed. And then, we just might need someone to pull us in, wrap their arms around us (whether they be big & strong, or soft & delicate) & remind us that this too shall pass. The beautiful thing is sometimes they can do so without saying a word (my mum & grandma are great for this… so are my auntie Care & Brenna)

__________________________________________________________

I think society is wrong in many ways, especially with the way it asks us to cope with aches & pains that ibuprofen doesn’t stand a chance against. I think it can be unhealthy to never take our strong faces off.  And, in my opinion, it’s not fair to the tender spots in your heart that you may have forgotten about 20 years ago because you chose to ‘do what you have to do’ vs. taking care of yourself & moving on after you “take the trash out”

I think what Oscar Wilde said (despite it being targeted towards women) is very fitting for this. Wilde said “Women are ment to be loved — not to be understood. Well perhaps we should take some notes and stop muffling our pain & begin wading through it by starting with a hug.

This one is for you, grandma. Someday, I hope we can hug an elephant together :)

I know everyone doesn’t like hugs — and that’s okay. I respect that! So don’t worry, I’m all about respecting your beautiful bubble! But the next time I see someone I love trying to fight through their battles alone, or they just aren’t sure who to pick for their team of heart-ache-kicking supporters, I’ll do one easy & powerful thing (if my gut instinct tells me it’s okay to do so): Ignore my desire to give advice that may not be asked for, and simply give them a squeeze. Perhaps we can benefit from a little unity instead of constantly trying to be superior to others by proving our strengths that, in the end, usually make us weak. 

Ready, set, love.