Bollywood & Ass Cheeks

I don’t know if I am the only one that does this, I hope I’m not, but if I am can you just pretend I’m not so that I feel better?

Yesterday I thought I’d try & wear a cute little outfit on for school because I have been such a bum as of late. I had the perfect top and shoes but when I went to shimmy into my jeans my ass just didn’t quite fit. So that blew. But, I don’t quite understand women who are ashamed of their asses… I would be devastated if I lost mine. Anyway – Long story short I resorted to my cutest workout get up for school yesterday because my other clothes gave me muffin top or wouldn’t go above my thighs. No, I didn’t just get done with a hardcore workout – I wore my PJ’s at work all day & this is the only thing that fits. Whoops.

Today I had the most productive and positive day I have had for a while. I got all of the things that have been weighing me down done after work… and I squeezed in studying, a work out, cleaning the whole house, catching up with Andy with his boys and a bath. I was so excited to go to the gym here at our town-homes when I realized we had one (yes, we have lived here for over a month). I got in my other super cute workout outfit (I like stretchy pants) & drove to the gym. Unfortunately, my key card didn’t work for shit. I sat outside scanning a worthless piece of plastic until I decided to go home & find another route.

My next route was Comcast’s OnDemand Bollywood Dance Video. I honestly believe that if I submitted a video of me doing this dance workout it would be on tosh.o next week. I was having so much fun until I almost rolled my ankle doing the grapevine. They tell us to shake our hips, hug ourselves, let the waterfall of abundance shower us and skip like we are in a meadow or our yard. What the fuck? It was one of the best workouts I’ve had. I miraculously dodged cardiac arrest.

After that I cleaned the house while ‘Don’t Tell Me’ by Madonna blasted through the speakers. Even though I adore Madonna (and all her music until the 90’s ended) I don’t think she should have been dancing in fuck-me-pumps while she did squats combined with the spread eagle. The bitch could knock me out with her man arms BUT I think she needs to take it easy…She apparently tore her groin prior to the performance. Like girlfriend, that tore for a reason, take a break! Anyway, tomorrow I get to sleep in a little bit prior to work & then go to class. I have so much to do to in order to be where I would like/need to be for this course, so send your genius brain waves my way, loves.

If you have a shitty day tomorrow, just do a bollywood workout video you’ll feel the abundance all the way from your chest/shoulders to your left ass cheek. XOXO

Getting white girl crazy.

Strong Is The New Skinny

“Set your alarm for 6am. Don’t groan when it goes off and pull the covers over your head, get up and start your day. Put on a baggy top and running shorts. Go downstairs and pour yourself a nice big glass of ice water. Cut up some fruit and mix it in with yogurt. Add some granola. Now go outside. Stretch for 10 minutes. Skip for 5 minutes. Jog for 10 minutes. Run for 10 minutes. Walk back. Lay out a towel on the ground and lie down on it. Do 50 crunches. Yes, they hurt, but they are 100% worth it. When you’re done, get in the shower. Use a nice smelling shampoo and matching conditioner. Shave your legs and wash your body. Exfoliate your face. Get out of the shower and let your hair air dry. Look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? If you do, good for you. Do this every day and you will continue to love yourself. If you don’t like what you see, do this every day and pretty soon you will. Being lazy might feel good at the time, but being active feels better in the long run. How badly do you want it?”

Dear babe,

I would do laundry EVERYDAY I promise! I’d even hang out in here and like… Paint my nails or something.

DEAR JENN,

You’re hot. You are definitely on my girl crush list. AND I go to the gym everyday at o’dark thirty to look like you, but more like a better version of me.

 You can go ahead and pretend that Kelsey is on the left & I’m on the right. Except her boobs are bigger, her hair is blonde, aaaand she basically looks nothing like this girl. But they’re both hot so I figured it works. She’s the best gym partner ever. Except for when she sometimes kind of yells at me a little bit. Like when I complain that the ab machine is ‘popping my calves’.

We’ll discuss this later. Have a kick ass day loves!!! XOXO

HHH

“Curb nothing. Be inconsistent or consistent. Do what you want. Don’t change anything about yourself to fit what you think others want. What is truly beautiful, what is truly refreshing, is when you strive for self-realization. Be yourself- your real self. And never settle for any other version. Find out who you really are, not who you could fictionally be.” -HappyHealthyHopeful